


The only one in the crowd

by LadyBardock



Series: Darkness [12]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dirty Dancing Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clubbing, M/M, Secret Crush, Sibling Incest, Stress, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-23 05:26:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6106338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBardock/pseuds/LadyBardock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili is content with his life, dancing at the club and trying to complete his education. Until one day deep brown eyes change his reality.</p><p>Kili is struggling with the fact that he fell in love with the wrong person... A person he knows his family will not accept... </p><p>Hurt, comfort, longing and heartache. Kili may act like a little ass in his fic. And Thorin well, he might feel a bit too much attracted to Fili. Just a warning.<br/>I forgot the incest warning :P</p><p>The story is more or less complete, so if you want more - comment to keep me posting ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The crowd was just amazing. The music drilling and forbidding anyone to stay still. The people were moving in a crazy rhythm dictated by the DJ. The best DJ they had. Somehow the crazy red head knew what music to play to bring them all to their knees. If another DJ tried playing the same songs he would get a jumbled mixture of songs, the way Nori blended them set the style of the whole club.

But the real fun was dancing. His own stage, high above the dancing crowd. He didn’t mind the tight clothes, he didn’t mind undressing slightly to the delight of the crowd. When Nori played the right tune Fili just walked in. In rhythm he slowly lowered his body to kneel on the stage, and to gradually rise up again. He felt all the eyes on him, the crowd was mimicking his moves, and dreaming to be over there with him.

\-----

Ro and Dan kept insisting to go to that one club, obviously fascinated with the unusual music and dancers. Legolas just smiled thrilled with the show they always presented, but he kept joking that the twins were simply in love with the main dancer. Even Dain would go with them, disregarding the fact that it was in fact a gay club. Gimli just entwined his fingers with Legolas, making sure the tall blond was on a leach.

Kili just loved it there, he loved the decor, he loved the dancing. He kept wishing to be on top of the stage and dancing away. He noticed the crazy way both twins were staring at the stage and the dancer. It was obvious to him, that the days when they came over was always when the blond was dancing. The crazier Ro even tried to take the stage, but the dancer after a short public kiss, easily manoeuvred him off. The crowd cheered when he did that, obviously thrilled with the event.

Dan tried the same trick a few weeks later, but the blond just smiled, laughed gently and did the same trick. The twin tried bribing the staff to get the blond’s phone number, but the grim bartender was unswayable.

Kili couldn’t help but admire the muscular figure, so surprisingly agile and attractive. He never met anyone so well built who could dance with such grace and vividness. It was as if the music was flowing in his veins.

After a few weeks of coming over, Kili was suddenly hit with the thought that he was equally attracted to the dancer as the twins. He kept wondering about him, what was his name, what did he like, and what his lips tasted like.

\------

Fili found it very amusing that those twins were trying to pick him up using all methods possible. When one of them got on his stage, and simply began dancing with him, he played along only for a moment. After a short kiss, he gently moved to the edge and in a controlled way pushed him off. Next time he was musing whether it was the same twin or the other, but after seeing him go back to his friends he concluded it was probably the other one.

Dori kept complaining the twins kept asking about him, they wanted to know his number and wanted to get together. When the twins proposed one hundred grand just for a night with him, Fili could only laugh. He might dance for a public but he wasn’t for sale. He would never do anything like that for money, not matter how hard times came. But as long as the dancing was bringing a solid profit he wasn’t going to even begin to consider it.

He kept gazing at their strange group coming over regularly. The strange pair, a very handsome blond with a short robust redhead. A short reddish blond never dancing, and the only person not really interested in the dancers, probably straight. The crazy twins, goofing around and dancing with a beautiful brunet. The last boy had entrancing dark eyes, and anytime those eyes were on him he felt a shiver go down. He had no idea why that boy made him feel jiggery and uneasy, but he was damn cute. And always dancing with the twins. Once the dance would end, the twins would exchange, and the boy would only laugh and continue on dancing relentlessly.

As he was watching one of the twins dance with the brunet yet again, he felt a ting of jealousy. He wanted to jump in and go in between them, he wanted to see those eyes wide and focused on him. As he was watching them he realised that if the brunet had in fact made the same proposition, he wouldn’t rejected it blindly like he did with their proposition. There was something special about him.

\------

“So you really want to do it?” Fili gazed at the small Ori sitting at their dining room table.

“It’s time I help out...” Ori gasped under the glare of all his brothers. “I would be hopeless at the bar or as a waiter.”

“I understand you want to help out... but Ori...” Dori gasped uneasy with the idea. “Dancers get a lot of attention, sometimes unwanted attention. Didn’t you hear all those things that happened to Fili?”

“And he’s big and strong, and he can handle shit like that... but you’re...” Nori gasped irritated.

“I’m weak...” Ori gasped with tears in his eyes.

“You’re a delicate flower.” Nori noticed in a surprisingly gentle tone.

“I want to do it... I’m old enough.” Ori insisted.

“Just barely...” Dori hissed.

“We could get another bouncer, and I’d keep an eyes on him.” Fili just shrugged. “If you forbid him to do it... you’ll obviously make him unhappy.” He noticed.

“Will you dance with him at the beginning?” Dori nodded at Fili.

“Of course I will... we could work out a duo routine...” Fili nodded.

“We could?” Ori gasped with wide happy eyes.

“I’ll teach you everything I know, little squirrel.” Fili smiled at him.

\------

The first time Fili showed up on stage with Ori, there was an uproar in the club. There were a lot of curious glances, but some were hostile and full of jealousy. After the first night he realised they couldn’t dance together on stage. It wasn’t about their sync, it wasn’t about Ori or his skills. Ori was great, beautiful with is long curly red hair. He moved in the rhythm easily and had talent.

But the crowd was possessive of him. They wanted The Dragon, they wanted to dream about being there with him on the stage. They were jealous, and that was really dangerous for Ori. He saw the angry glare from the twins sitting there, he saw the pure reaction on their faces. But what shook him were those dark gorgeous eyes gazing at him with such hurt, he just wanted to run up to the brunet and assure him that Ori wasn’t his boyfriend. Which was stupid in itself...

Kili gazed at the stage feeling disappointed. His blond was dancing with a cute red head. The smaller boy extremely attractive, even slightly feminine. The longish red hair moving as he dance. Kili had to admit it the boy could dance, he was extremely graceful, but just the idea that they were dancing together was irritating. He was jealous, which was an absurd notion, he had no right to be jealous. He wanted to feel those strong arms around him, he wanted to gaze into his eyes and find out what their colour was. He didn’t dance at all that night, and first time he left early feeling betrayed.

\------

“Our kids... are irresponsible.” Elrond gasped annoyed as he Thorin, Nain, Gloin and Thranduil sat down for their regular business dinner.

“I understand they want to have fun... but this fun is going on a bit too long and a bit too far.” Gloin noticed.

“What do you want to do?” Thranduil asked slowly. “If we put pressure on them... they might rebel.”

“Could you ask Dwalin to investigate just what exactly the kids are up to?” Nain gazed at Thorin.

Thorin just gazed at them surprised they were so worried. “Fine, I’ll give him a call.” He grunted just to end the topic.


	2. Chapter 2

Dwalin wasn’t at all thrilled with the job he got from Thorin. After watching them for two weekends, he already knew they were spending their evenings at a gay club. It was a pretty posh place, with dancers and what not. As he drove by the noticed an add.

“So they need a bouncer?” Dwalin smirked, and he just knocked.

A small red head with tattoos on both his forearms opened the door and with spite asked. “What do you want?”

“I’m here about the add.” Dwalin pointed to the add.

The red head looked him up and down, he took in the muscles, the bald head and tattoos. Finally he said. “Come in.”

Walking in Dwalin gazed around at the foyer, later into the main dance hall. It was really nicely decorated, private lounges a bit higher than the regular tables. A few dance stages a bit higher, the DJ desk in the middle. He’s seen his fair share of bars and club, and this place seemed really nice.

The red head guided him into the staff only part of the club and into an office.

The white haired man greeted him curtly and pointed towards the chair. The blond just gazed at him up and down just like the red head did before. Dwalin easily noticed that both were pretty tough and firmly build.

“So you’re here to question about the job?” The blond began the interview.

“I saw your add, and I could use some cash.” Dwalin easily lied.

“Have you ever done a job like this?” The grey haired man asked slowly.

“A few years ago I worked as a bouncer in a club in LA.” Dwalin lied again.

“And I bet you don’t have a job certificate?” The blond easily cornered him, Dwalin just gazed at him curiously.

“Not that I recall.” Dwalin noticed.

The blood gazed at him slowly. “MMA?”

“How did you know?” Dwalin noticed slowly. “I served in the army for six years, Marine Corps. I trained MMA since then.”

“Shall you test him?” Dori just smirked at Fili.

“Why not...” The blond smiled back. “What do you say?”

“Lead the way!” Dwalin laughed.

When they came into the main hall, the staff gazed curiously as Fili took off his shirt and faced the strong man.

“Don’t hurt him or get hurt...” Nori scolded him, knowing exactly what the blond was planning.

“We’ll be fine...” Fili smiled.

“Are you ready?” Dwalin smirked, and when Fili nodded they collided with strength. It took only a few strikes for him to realise that the blond was the real deal. Extremely strong and agile.

When the blond stepped back with a smile and announced “He’s good!” The staff began clapping.

“Let’s go back into the office and talk about your job conditions.” Dori guided him back into the office. “You get ready for work!” He pointed at the blond.

“Yes Mom!” Fili laughed and ran towards the staff room. Dwalin just gazed at the huge tattoo on the boy’s back, and smirked.

“So what do you expect from me?” Dwalin sat down in front of the man he assumed was the manager.

“Well we’ve been having a bit of trouble recently with a few customers. The Dragon can handle himself, as you’ve already seen he’s strong and independent. But the problem is our youngest dancer. My little brother is stubborn to dance, and he’s too gentle and too weak. When he put them together on one stage... well let’s say it this way, the crowd reacted badly. So I want Flower dancing by himself, but I need someone to keep an eye on him, and make sure he’s fine.” Dori explained.

“So this is a bodyguard job?” Dwalin noticed surprised. “What kind of trouble?”

“Yes, your main job would be his bodyguard. But generally we expect you to keep an eye on the safety in the club.” Dori added. “Trouble... well some people have been trying to get on the stage with the dancers. We had some bribe propositions to give personal details of our dancers. Some financial sexual propositions also happened recently.”

“And all that is not welcome here?” Dwalin concluded.

“We’re a clean club. No drugs, and no procuration. Our dancers are dancers, not prostitutes. They don’t sleep with customers for money.” Dori informed him. “We don’t use real names here, we don’t give out phone numbers or any personal information no matter the price.”

“What about gangs and drug dealers?” Dwalin noticed.

“They tried, but the matter was handled peacefully.” Dori admitted. He reached for his phone. “Now only one person has to determine if he wants to work with you.” He smiled and texted Ori to come over.

When Ori walked in, at first Dwalin thought it was a girl. He took in the long red curly hair, the delicate slim face, the cute green eyes. The boy was extremely slim, small and delicate. No wonder they wanted to protect him so badly.

“Hi!” The boy greeted him with a shy smile.

“Flower, this is Dwalin, he’s going to be your bodyguard.” Dori introduced them.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The boy gazed at the tall strong man hesitantly. There was something fascinating about this man, and he just wanted to stare more.

“So when do I start?” Dwalin asked Dori.

“Tonight?” The man simply suggested.

When the new bouncer began working, they observed him a bit, but soon it became evident the man was watching Ori like a hawk, and more so he was fawning over him even more than Dori. Which was an achievement in itself. The tall man would drive him home, and if Ori was on the stage he would stand behind the curtain in the back gazing at the crowd.

\------

Fili felt so bitter. The one night with Ori ruined it. Once he danced alone the crowd was back to normal, they still loved him, they still followed his moves and loved it. But he didn’t come back. Four weeks and there was no sign of the brunet. His friends came by, they practically reserved permanently the most expensive booth. But he didn’t come back. Fili could still remember the way those eyes gazed at him, hurt and disappointed, and it was heartbreaking.

Six weeks when he began doubting he would ever see him again, he came back. That night was a huge surprise to everyone in the club. For the first time ever two girls walked in. Not men dressed as girls, but real girls. Both of them pulled the brunet into the club and headed straight towards the booth. One was a tall beautiful red head, lean and slim as a willow. The other had midnight black hair and was equally tall. Both could easily be models. As he watched them from the stage, it became evident the short fair hair was in love with the tall red haired girl. And the dark girl was in fact so similar to the twins it was easy to assume she was their sister.

All night the brunet avoided looking at him, and Fili was desperate to see those eyes again. He wanted him to watch him and to want him. He was so stressed about this issue, it was so not like himself to be pinning for someone, but he was. For months now he had a crush on the brunet and he just wanted to get to know him.

After that night the two girls became regular guests, always dragging the brunet in and sitting in the private booth. They would dance from time to time, but only with people from their circle. Slowly the brunet was going back to his old self, dancing and laughing and having a great time. The tall red head loved dancing with him and they often hit the dance floor together, laughing and enjoying the music. Those eyes finally looked at him from time to time, but Fili soon realised the boy was avoiding him. It hurt him, but on the other hand it made him realise the boy was in fact perhaps a tiny bit drawn to him.

\-----

“Fee... You’re acting like a love stricken puppy...” Nori complained as lunch.

Fili just looked at him surprised.

“Everyone noticed...” Nori made him realise.

“How is the new bouncer?” Dori asked Ori as they were eating.

“He’s really nice...” Ori gasped.

“I’m not asking if he’s nice, I’m asking if you feel safe.” Dori noticed sternly.

“I feel great!” Ori assured him quickly.

“I was thinking...” Fili noticed slowly.

“About?” Nori noticed.

“A dancing competition...” Fili smiled.

Dori just raised his eyebrows. “You mean like inviting the guests onto the stage?”

“Only a few selected people...” Fili gasped.

“So how do you imagine that to work?” Nori gasped at him slowly.

When Fili finished explaining his idea, the brother slowly agreed, stressing that Ori will not take part.

“What’s bugging you?” Nori noticed Ori look at him with a question.

“I want a tattoo.” Ori gasped.

“No fucking way!” Dori hissed.

“Something nice and delicate, to match my name...” Ori noticed.

Nori just inhaled. “So you want me to call my friends?”

Ori eagerly nodded.

“Face it, he can do it without your permission.” Fili told Dori calmly.

“Just fucking great!” Dori grunted. “A nice delicate flower... it has to be done by a pro!” He pointed at Nori.

“Just like Fili’s...” Nori winked at him.


	3. Chapter 3

Tauriel had a great time in the club. When the boys fell in love with the place, she and Arwen dismissed the idea of going and felt pushed aside. Then something happened. Kili from funny and hyperactive, turned to withdrawn and placid. And she could find only one explanation, he had a crush on someone. Slowly she faced the idea of visiting the club and she manoeuvred Arwen to go with her. She loved it. The decor, the music. Somehow it did not bother her the dancers were gay, and the crowd was gay. She feared the moment they walked in someone would ask them out, but nothing happened. They just sat down and had a great time with their friends.

And soon it became a habit. After a few nights Tauriel got the guts to pull the sulking Kili onto the dance floor. Some people glared at her, but she just had fun and tried not to bother anyone.

When during one of the nights someone from the staff approached her, in her head she was hearing words asking her to get out, but instead she was handed a red ribbon.

“What’s this?” She asked curiously.

“You can go up on the stage and join the dance competition tonight.” The waiter smiled at her.

“Thanks!” She smiled. Soon she saw him walk up to a few more people and hand in ribbons.

When she came back to the booth Arwen took the ribbon and put it in her hair.

Everyone gazed surprised as the music stopped and the DJ took the microphone.

“Dear friends tonight we decided to do something new.” The DJ with the distinctive tattoos announced. “A few of you, selected by our staff got beautiful red ribbons. Those of you and only you, are welcome to try your strength on the stage!”

The crowd reacted wildly, and Tauriel gazed surprised at the ribbon in Kili’s hands.

“But that’s not all! You cannot selected the song I play... Because I play only my songs!” The DJ laughed.

The crowd just echoed with laugher. “And the best of you... the one who gets most cheers from this beautiful crowd tonight... will have a chance to dance with our star The Dragon.” When those words were spoken, the crowd reacted immediately with cheers. “But that’s not all! The winner will receive an invitation for a special Halloween party, the best VIP booth and drinks on the house!”

“So we got two chances for a night full of drinking...” Dain hissed at them, noticing the two ribbons in their group. “If one of you doesn’t win this...” He growled with a threat. All of them were glaring at Tauriel and Kili.

“Fine I’ll give it a try!” Tauriel smiled. “Kee?” She gazed at her best friend, flushed and obviously nervous as hell.

The group was glaring at him waiting for his answer. “Fine, I can try...”

“Let’s go!” Tauriel pulled him by the hand towards the small group gathering under the stage.

She saw some people glare at her as if asking what she was doing there, but she just pointed towards the ribbon.

“So let’s give the girl a head start!” The DJ announced. He walked up to her with a smile.

“So sweetheart we noticed you had been coming here regularly, before we start could you tell us how did you find your way here?” Nori asked her confidently.

“Hey! Well I’m here with my brother and his boyfriend, and our best friends. This place is just so nice and so fun, I just love coming here.” Tauriel admitted, the crowd cheered hearing she was actually there with a gay couple, that the slight grudge that she was a girl was going away.

“Are you ready?” The DJ asked with a smile.

“Bring it on!” She laughed. When the music stated she into the beat and slowly began moving to the music. She was good and she knew it, but she was a girl so it was improbably they would pick her. But it was fun nonetheless.

“Thank you!” She yelled at the crowd cheering her on, and she stepped down.

Soon they other people with the ribbons tried their strength on the floor. Most were pretty good, and obviously the new event thrilled the crowd in the club. They cheered on everyone. When it was Kili’s turn, Tauriel had to push Kili onto the stage, causing a wave of laughter in the crowd.

When the DJ tried talking to Kili he stood there silently, so Tauriel rushed in took the microphone and said. “He’s very shy... but give him a chance...” She told them receiving another wave of laughter from the crowd and walked down, after sending Kili a wink.

“Can we start?” Nori asked the shy boy. And when the boy nodded, he began playing the song. The boy just closed his eyes, and for a moment Nori was worried if he would actually begin dancing. But then he made a sudden move in rhythm to the strange music. After a few moves it became evident the boy could dance. And that he was more than good. He kept his eyes closed, but his moves were confident and in tune.

As the song was progressing Fili realised the boy was the best out of all the dancers tonight. He was extremely lean and well trained, and moved like a pro dancer.

When it was over Nori asked them all back onto the stage and after a funny wave of voting, it was obvious who won.

“So we have a winner!” Nori smiled. “Talk to the staff afterwards for your invitation, but now it’s time for your main prize.” On that cue Fili walked into the stage and stood at a small distance from the boy.

The boy looked up at him startled, and gazed at him with warily.

“Are you ready to do this?” Fili asked him slowly. He saw first panic in those beautiful eyes, but the a slow nod.

When the first tunes sounded and the crowd began cheering them on, and Fili gently wrapped one arm around the boy’s slim waist, he just began dancing.

\-----

Blue... the only thing in his mind. His eyes were a deep unusual shade of blue. An unforgettable blue. From up close he was even more handsome, the nicely cut long hair, but what sent his heart into a panic was the strong arm around him.

But when the first tunes reached his ears, his body reacted on instinct. Dancing was his second nature, he loved it. And being as fit as he was, it was easy to just give in and let go. So that’s what he just did.

His eyes were focused on the strong hypnotising blue eyes. He felt the burning touch of strong hands while dancing. A brush of tender fingers here and there. In the middle of the song he realised he was completely entranced by the dancer. And extremely aroused. He was thrilled feeling the soft touch, he was staring into those deep eyes, and he could see them venture to his lips. He bit down his own lip nervously and he noticed that he wasn’t the only one aroused. It was crazy, everything that was happening was crazy. And when those arms lifted him and leaned him down with skill, he just danced. It was as if he could read his mind, as if they were connected.

\-----

As the song was slowly ending Fili felt he was losing it. He never danced with someone who reacted to him like that. Their moves were in sync without any training. He could do anything he wanted and the boy responded accordingly. He kept gazing into those deep unmoved dark eyes, he stared at the beautiful face so close... he could lean in and taste those lips. He was so beautiful up closer, beautifully arched eyebrows, slim jaw, high cheekbones and gorgeously curved lips. He was so tempted, and when he saw the heat in those eyes he was thrilled beyond measure. When the boy bit down on his own lip, Fili just couldn’t take it. When the music brought them closer in the crazy dance, he just took his chance. Crashing his lips into those beautiful ones was like the craziest thing he could do. But he couldn’t withhold any longer. It was a short caste kiss, because soon they had to part and dance. The crowd noticed the exchange and gasped and cheered like crazy. Fili felt tempted to kiss him again, with a deep feeling he wanted more. More of those sweet soft lips. He saw the socked glare in those eyes, and some kind of deep longing.

When the song stopped the crowd went wild. Fili just smiled and nodded to Nori play on.

“Thank you...” He gasped to the boy.


	4. Chapter 4

Kili just stood there stunned, those simple words, that deep voice, those blue eyes, the strong arm still around him were all that he wanted.

He just nodded as the dancer let go of him, and slowly walked down the stage back to his cheering friends.

“Now that was hot!” Tauriel hugged him tightly.

“I can’t fucking believe what just happened...” Ro noticed with a scowl.

“Why do all the fun boys want to fuck you and not us?” Dan echoed his brother’s dissatisfaction.

“Like you need anyone to go in between both of you...” Arwen scolded both of them. “Shut up or I’ll cut your tongues out.”

“Hippocratic Oath!” Ro yelled at her accusingly.

“There is one exception there! Special point excluding younger brothers...” Arwen smiled coyly.

“Excuse me.” A tall calm man walked up. “I’m the hall manager, I’d like to talk about the special invitation you won.”

“Nice to meet you!” Gimli smiled at him.

“What kind of party is it?” Tauriel asked.

“It’s going to be a costume party.” Aragorn slowly explained. “In the invitation you will receive your favourite booth, snacks and drinks.”

“How many people can come?” Kili asked worried.

“You can take up to ten friends.” The man asked calmly.

“What time does the party start?” Tauriel asked.

“At eight, but as your special invitation is different we’d like you to show up around seven.” Aragorn told them slowly. “Could you please write down your phone number, so we could contact you about the details.”

“Of course!” Kili took a pen and wrote his phone number on the sheet.

Aragorn wanted to leave, but the beautiful dark haired girl followed and took him by the arm.

“Sorry to be so intrusive...” She smiled at him. “But I was wondering, would there be a chance of smuggling in a birthday cake to the party?”

“A birthday cake?” Aragorn gasped surprised.

“That’s why the lucky boy is so happy... his birthday is on Halloween.” Arwen explained.

“That’s just great...” Aragorn smiled. “Write down your number...” He passed her a piece of paper.

“I’ll deliver the cake earlier...” She noticed.

“No problem, staff usually come in around two p.m. And since it’s Halloween we’re preparing special decorations.” Aragorn noticed.

“I’m Arwen by the way.” She smiled at him sincerely.

“Aragorn, a pleasure to meet you.” He smiled back. “We’ll try to make the evening unforgettable for your friend.”

“And we’d like to help with that.” She winked at him. “Call me... I better go back before my brothers fuck him in public out of sheer enthusiasm...”

He just gazed at her curiously. “I’ll call you.” He assured her.

“Thank you!” She smiled and walked back.

\-----

Aragorn smiled at Fili and handed him the phone number. “Guess what...” He smiled.

“What?” Fili growled.

“It’s his birthday on Halloween.” Aragorn noticed. “And his friends are bringing in a cake earlier.”

Fili just smiled, a birthday... they would try double to make it special.

“I knew you’d be thrilled!” Aragorn laughed and walk back to his duties.

\------

“Happy Birthday!” Bilbo called him early in the morning before classes.

“Thank you Bilbo!” Kili noticed in a light voice.

“Do you have plans for the evening?” Bilbo, his uncle’s husband asked him slowly.

“We’re going to a special Halloween party with the gang.” Kili explained.

“Have fun Son, and come home for the weekend, I’ll bake your favourite chocolate pear cake.” Bilbo assured him in a warm voice.

“Thank you Bilbo, you’re the best!” Kili laughed happily.

“Have a good time tonight!” Bilbo told him warmly. “What costume are you wearing this year?”

“Actually... I’m not sure yet...” Kili noticed slowly.

“Do you remember four years ago? You dressed all black and painted your face?” Bilbo reminded him. “It was a bit creepy but you looked great...”

Kili ran to his wardrobe, and after a few minutes of browsing, he decided to go shopping after lectures. Bilbo just gave him the best idea ever.

\-----

Arwen delivered the cake with Tauriel around four pm. The friendly hall manager called in someone to carry it in.

“It’s a huge cake...” Aragorn noticed shyly.

“We since it’s a huge party... it’d be nice to give a piece to everyone.” Tauriel laughed. “Do you need some help decorating?”

“Nah, decorations are all done...” Aragorn gasped.

“Can we see?” Tauriel gasped with enthusiasm.

Aragorn gazed at them carefully. “But keep it to you...” He nodded and guided them in.

“Wow!” Arwen gasped amazed seeing the perfectly prepared dungeon. Spider webs everywhere. Coffins on the stages. Strange furniture all around.

“Where did you get this stuff?” Tauriel gasped surprised.

“A trick of the trade...” Aragorn slowly noticed and came closer and whispered. “Rented from the film studio...”

“I love it...” Tauriel gasped. “Good that we’re going into vampire stuff...”

“Well so are we...” Aragorn winked at them.

“Thank you!” Arwen smiled at him.

\-----

Kili gazed at the mirror and added a bit more eyeliner. He loved it, but going out like this was challenging... He gasped and made the decision, it wasn’t that he was turning twenty one every day.

When Tauriel drove by to pick him up she just gasped.

“Damn! You’ve got the best costume...” She noticed with a huge smirk. “I wonder if he’ll recognise you...”

“Who?” Kili asked surprised.

“You’ll see...” Tauriel hugged him.

“You look great as well...” Kili smiled seeing her old-style dress and vampire make up.

“You look better.” She noticed with jealousy. “Let’s go...”


	5. Chapter 5

When they arrived the staff was already ready. Everyone dressed up accordingly to the theme. The waiting staff wearing black clothes with the club logo and with red bites on their necks. The bartender was dressed pretty extravagantly, clearly stating his higher position. Aragorn greeting them was dressed up in a fancy suit, his face was painted pale, and he had dark circles around his eyes.

“It’s great to see you brothers and sisters... Please come into our humble abode.” He invited them in with courtesy.

“It’s a pleasure to see you yet again.” Arwen took his extended hand and walked in.

“This place is just amazing!” Tauriel was dressed in a fancy dress, styled as a vampire.

“We fit in perfectly...” Gimli smiled taking in how beautiful his boyfriend looked. “You make a great vampire...”

“And you make a handsome werewolf...” Dain smiled. He too was dressed as a werewolf, to match the beautiful vampire Tauriel.

“What is that on the stage?” Gimli noticed curiously.

“Looks like a pool of blood...” Dain noticed with a huge smile.

“It’s suppose to look like that...” Aragorn told them calmly. “You’ll see later, tonight it’s going to be quite a show...” He winked at Arwen.

When they walked up to the second room, it was in a cloud of smoke.

“Come in...” Aragorn urged them, and slowly they walked in. Arwen gasped when the fog engulfed them completely, so she just grabbed onto Tauriel. As they stopped they heard sinister music all around them and finally a voice.

“Welcome...” The voice taunted them. “Do come closer... we don’t bite...At least not others like us...”

As the smoke cleared they saw the DJ sitting on a throne. He was wearing a plain white shirt, his face was painted white and his hair was pulled back old style.

“Tonight you will experience the best Ered can give you...” The DJ smiled. “So where is the lucky winner?” He smiled gazing at the group of surprised people.

When one of the girls stepped up Nori could only gasp. The costume was just perfect.

He smiled honestly imagining Fili’s reaction. “Welcome dear Sister, please take a seat... tonight you’re the Queen...” He pointed to the second throne. “Dear guests please take seats all around.” As soon as Kili sat down, music began playing... The DJ just smirked and got up and disappeared in the smoke.

The first thing Kili noticed was that all the dancers came out of nowhere and began dancing a routine in the middle of the room. They were all dressed perfectly, in tight fitting clothes, with smears of blood and bite marks.

The real part of the show, was when two dancers dragged the Dragon chained into the middle of the room.

“My Queen, your dinner has arrived...” The beautiful red head sat on the second throne and told Kili. “Do take a bite and taste his divine blood...” The Flower smirked.

Seeing the brunet’s shocked face the red head began laughing. “I’m just joking of course!” Ori laughed. “We were hoping you and your friends would like to take part in the show tonight...”

The group began clapping as the song ended and the dancers finished their routine.

“That was the best show ever!” Dain expressed his admiration. “Too bad I’m not gay!”

“You may reconsider!” One of the twins nearly jumped him.

“Fuck off you rabid dog!” Dain pretended to run away.

“We’d really like to help out.” Kili admitted.

Ori extended his hand to the beautiful brunet. “Let me explain our plan.” He took his hand and showed him around.

\-----

Kili could see the blond’s eyes on him, but he had no idea how to read him. The blond was breathtaking, obviously he was playing the role of the ‘feast’ for the vampires. He was half dressed, and his body was covered in red bite marks, and stains of blood. His naked chest was breathtaking, so muscular and well toned. But when he turned around Kili finally knew where his nickname came from. On the back he had a huge tattoo. A huge dragon, a blue dragon. But the tattoo was like nothing Kili had ever seen before, it was a true work of art.

“Katerina Mikky?” Tauriel gasped.

“What?” Kili asked her.

“That tattoo, it must be her work, no one else does tattoos like that...” Tauriel hissed at him.

“It’s beautiful!” Kili noticed.

“Indeed it is.” Arwen took his hand with a smile.

\-----

As the dancers pushed him onto the floor and Fili looked up to the throne he was dumb folded. In the place where his brunet should be sitting, there was girl. And only taking in the deep dark eyes, the long brown hair, he realised it was the boy. He was wearing a black dress, it was extremely tight and with a fancy corset, his skin painted white in contrast. There was a ring of black and red around his eyes. His lips were painted vibrant red. His boots were very high, and made of beautiful black leather. He was wearing fancy rings and jewellery, and by all means he looked liked a Queen. He was beautiful.

“Come on we need to get ready for the main show...” The dancers urged him to get up and go to the changing room. He glanced one last time at his brunet and he could only smile.

\-----

Soon the other guests began showing up at taking seats at the booths or tables. The gang was having a great time, but the real fun began with the show. They were told to speak up during the ‘trail’ of the ‘feast’ urging the Queen to drink his blood. But what no one told them was that in fact the dancers would sing Happy Birthday, and that the Dragon would be wrapped in a red ribbon. Kili at first was shocked but after the urging cries from his friends he slowly stood up and walked towards the ‘feast’.

“Bite him and he’ll be your slave forever!” The Flower yelled with a huge smile.

“Drink him dry!” Ro yelled after him.

Kili just smiled and gently lowered himself to gaze at the chained dancer. With a huge grin he gently kissed his neck pretending to bite. And he heard the crowd cheer.

“Happy Birthday!” The Dragon smiled at him.

“The best birthday ever.” Kili smiled at him. “So you’re my slave now?”

“At least for tonight...” The Dragon gasped.

“Carry me back to my throne...” Kili just smiled and demanded. The Dragon smiled and easily lifted him after dropping the chains.

“What now?” Kili asked as they sat down on the thrones.

“Now we have fun...” The Dragon winked at him. Soon one of the waiters brought them red drinks and the raspberry red cake.

“Any Birthday wishes?” The Dragon smiled.

“Dance with me tonight.” The boy gasped delighted.

“Stage or crowd?” The blond gasped.

“Let’s start on the stage... but I’d love to go into the crowd.” Kili admitted.

When the blond reached out he just felt thrilled. “A vampire dance... full of biting and taunting...” The blond suggested.

“Bring it on...” Kili gasped with adrenaline.

“Damn they look good together...” Dan complained as the two were dancing a complicated play like routine on the stage. It was obvious that Kili was having the time of his life.

“Don’t worry brother you have me...” Ro just gasped.

“So why aren’t we dancing?” Dan complained and pulled his brother to the dance floor.

\-----

Fili was so thrilled to have the beautiful boy in his arms. They were dancing just like the brunet had demanded, first on the stage playing on the vampire theme, but then they just blended in the crowd. It was fun to be on stage, but the crowd gave them more privacy and intimacy. As Nori played a slower song, he felt those slim arms wrap around his neck, and having him so close was intoxicating. As their bodies collided he felt so tempted. Normally he would never flirt or approach a guest, but this was different. It felt different. So he just leaned in and pressed their lips together. The playful bites earlier already made him aroused, but now as their bodies were colliding in the dance was he just wanted so much more.

Kili felt beyond happy, those soft warm lips were kissing him senselessly driving him insane with lust. He had a huge crush on the blond, and the idea that they were dancing, that he could touch and embrace him was insane. Before he knew it they were practically making out in the crowd. Kissing without end, touching sensually and provocatively. Playfully grinding against each other in the dance.

“My place or your place?” The blond proposed feeling that they couldn’t continue what they were doing there.

“Mine...” The brunet decided quickly and pulled him towards the exit.


	6. Chapter 6

When Fili awoke the next day he felt happy. It was the best night in his life, just as their bodies fit well in dance, they fit perfect while making love. He could remember the brunet’s legs around him, holding him tightly, he remembered the kisses and the tender love making. He gently petted his hair, and inhaled the smell of his skin. As he opened his eyes and looked around his heart stopped. At night he wasn’t really paying attention to anything but the warm body under him. Now he was staring a view of New York unlike ever before in his life. It wasn’t just a flat, it was a penthouse on top of one of the skyscrapers. Everything around him was screaming rich. Filthy rich. Out of his reach, out of his range. So much higher than him, that there was no way this could work. He slowly got up, and gently kissed his forehead, the brunet stirred gently but didn’t wake up. Feeling huge heartache Fili silently walked out.

\-----

Kili was slightly disappointed that he woke up alone. No sign of the blond. But he could still remembered his warmth in his bed. His mind was full of visions of sex. It was a night full of passion on the dance floor but what happened later was even more thrilling. He loved those strong fingers gliding over his skin, he loved those lips kissing him all over his body. The night was the most amazing night of his life, and he just wanted more. That scared him. It scared him so much to want more. A fling, an affair, was all he could do, but the deep longing in his heart was demanding so much more. He could already hear his uncle’s voice in his head yelling at him for falling in love with a dancer of all people. He could hear dissatisfied words ringing in his head. There was no fucking way it would work.

\-----

He kept repeating that all weekend, as he went home and ate Bilbo’s cake with the family. As the kids were chatting away and having fun, as Thorin gave him a new car. As Bilbo hugged him and assured him they loved him. He could only think of him. He could only see blue eyes.

As the week was passing dreadfully slowly, he was promising himself not to go to the club on Friday, but Tauriel wouldn’t hear it. She just drove by, threw a bag of clothes at him, and helped him get ready.

“I’m not wearing makeup!” Kili growled at her.

“Of yes you are...” She gently painted the eyeliner under his eyes and smiled. “You’re too beautiful to be a boy.”

Kili just inhaled and followed her.

\-----

Fili dreaded the weekend, he had no idea what to do when the boy would walk in. He was imagining so many things but nothing could prepare him for the volume of emotions that hit him seeing him walk in. That one moment he realised he was truly screwed. Utterly, absolutely screwed. The wave of love filling his heart nearly brought him to his knees. He just wanted more, and that one moment he realised he would take anything the brunet would give him. He was ready to beg for just a minute of his time. To beg for just one more kiss.

Kili gazed up to the stage feeling those strong eyes on him, the blond was looking only at him, he felt tingling in his whole body. He wanted to feel those hands on his body yet again. He wanted more kisses. And he realised there was no running away from it until he satisfied his lust for this man.

They watched each other all night, Fili dancing on the stage, Kili dancing in the crowd. Their eyes on each other every single second. When Kili noticed the blond disappeared from the stage he wasn’t all that surprised to feel those warm arms embrace him. He just glanced into those deep lustful blue eyes, and he danced. He ground against him. He kissed him.

As they were getting in a taxi and going to Kili’s place, it just felt right. Like nothing else ever.

\-----

As weeks were passing by, their Friday nights became a regular thing. Kili would come to the club, and after a long night of dancing, they would end up in his flat. They would rarely talk, there wasn’t much bonding between them, nothing much resembling a relationship. It was sex. Sex full of such passion and such lust, Kili was slowly realising no one would ever match up to the blond. No one ever. And with the passing weeks he was bracing his heart for the inevitable. He felt so much as they made love. He just had to limit to one night a week. He was determined not to begin a conversation, not to engage. Not to get to know him better. Not to fall in love, not realising he was already deeply in love.

Fili’s heart was breaking. The brunet was so sexy and thrilling, but unemotional at the same time. With the passing nights together he realised the brunet was setting a firm distance between them. Any conversation cut short, their night limited and focused on sex. It was so great to be with him, but it hurt so much. Fili dreamt of snuggling, talking, just getting to know each other. But the distance set by his lover clearly indicated there was no future for them. And that was killing him. He just loved him so much, and knowing that in a way the brunet was rejecting him as a person was killing him. How could a dancer fit in the life of a rich boy? How could he introduce him to the family? There was no fucking way it would work. He promised himself to take anything given, but it was becoming evident he couldn’t take the pain in his heart.

\-----

He loved those finger tracing his skin with zeal, he loved those lips discovering his body yet again. He loved as those Saturday mornings began extending to joyful erotic sessions under the shower. To a cup of coffee before the blond went out. Kili sometimes wondered why he would leave so early, clearly with a shade in his eyes. But he never really asked. He couldn’t get enough of him, and he was slowly getting used to the idea of keeping this part of his life secret. There was no way he could stop seeing him, every night increasing the immense longing and need.

The doorbell startled both of them in the middle of getting dressed. They had just enough time to pull on their last pieces of wardrobe when a childish voice yelled “Kee!” And Frodo rushed to Kili’s arms.

“Hey Little Rabbit!” Kili easily lifted the child and held him.

Fili had no idea what to do when three kids clung to his lover, he had no idea what to do when a middle aged man walked in.

“Sorry to bother you so early...” The man calmly apologised.

“No problem Dad.” His lover gently embraced him.

The short man’s eyes ventured towards the person he didn’t know. At first Fili wanted to die, but then he saw a kind smile and warm blue eyes.

“We’re sorry to intrude.” The man told him in a gentle warm tone.

“No problem I was about to leave anyway.” Fili replied evening his breath.

“Maybe you would like to join us? We’re planning a family trip to the zoo.” Bilbo gently told him, noticing the panic in those deep blue eyes. The blond gazed at Kili warily, and gazing at his oldest son Bilbo never before saw such firmness in his eyes. Being as smart as he was he could make only one conclusion, whoever the blond was he wasn’t welcome to join them. The blond saw it too, his eyes went even sadder and he calmly gathered his things and after a short “I have to go to work.” And a courteous goodbye, the blond was out of the door. Bilbo felt something was deeply wrong, the shine in the blond’s eyes could only be tears, and the way Kili was looking at the door was heartbreaking. As if he actually wanted the blond to come, but there was something stopping him. As if he didn’t want his family to meet his lover. Then it hit him, Kili didn’t even introduce them, which was so unfriendly and unlike him, that suddenly Bilbo realised there was something deeply wrong going on.


	7. Chapter 7

“Fili...” Nori gasped worried seeing the blond finally come to the club. He was lifeless. His eyes were red and desperate. It was as if the world ended.

“Go home and rest a bit... are you feeling well?” Dori immediately reacted, but Nori’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“I’ll talk to him.” Nori told his brother gently.

He motioned Fili to lie down on the sofa in the office and he sat on the floor next to him.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Nori gently asked him, the blond just shook his head.

“I’ll get you something.” Nori gasped and walked into the main hall, just to push a note at one of the waiters and order him to go to the bar opposite the club.

“So what the fuck is going on?” Nori noticed slowly.

“Nothing...” Fili growled.

“Well, this nothing broke you more than that fucking injury that ended your football career...” Nori noticed slowly. “You’re my brother, and I’ve known you so long that you can’t fool me...”

When Fili began crying Nori just sat there shocked, Fili never cried. Not even when he was in hospital suffering from the lunge concussion which led to the end of his career. Not even when their foster mother aunt Ginger died. Not even when the brother’s dad went out of prison and threatened them. Not even when his ex left him when his promising football career ended abruptly and his football scholarship was revoked.

As slowly the word came from Fili’s mouth, Nori slowly realised just how deeply his foster brother was hurting. Why his dancing felt stiff the last few weeks. Why he seemed broken.

“You can’t go on like this. It’s killing you.” Nori gently told him.

“There is nothing I can do...” Fili cried on end.

“You’ve just got one semester left.” Nori gently reminded him. “Soon you won’t be just a dancer... with your diploma you could try to get a real job. A job which wouldn’t make your lover ashamed to introduce you to his family.”

“It’s like... he shouldn’t be ashamed of me... If he loved me...” Fili cried.

“I know that... but most people think dancers are just a type of prostitute...” Nori told him gently. “Maybe he just doesn’t love you... at least not as much as you love him.”

“That’s the sad part...” Fili noticed. “Even if I finally graduate... It won’t automatically mean I can find a job. I will never be able to match up to that level. Give him a living the level he’s used to.”

“You’re not working tonight.” Nori decided. “You don’t have to dance anymore, the club is bringing a profit, so let the other dancers work hard.”

Soon Ori brought in some food, and they both forced Fili to eat a bit.

“It’s going to get better with time...” Nori whispered to him as the blond stayed in the office.

“I doubt that...” Fili grimaced and shifted to lie on his side.

\------

Kili felt as if he kicked a puppy. The way those blue eyes gazed at him just before the door closed expressed such hurt he regretted the decision. In his struggle to keep distance, he missed the fact that he was in fact hurting his lover. He wanted him so much, but he was so scared. Keeping this part of his life hidden seemed impossible anymore.

The day passed as if he had a fever. He went with Bilbo and the boys, they walked around the zoo, and he could feel Bilbo’s eyes on him all the time.

“Why don’t you call him and tell him you changed your mind?” Bilbo’s voice startled him.

“He’s at work.” Kili gasped.

“I understand you might not be ready to talk about him just yet.” Bilbo gently noticed after a long moment of silence. “Thorin might be bit difficult sometimes, but if you face the family with time he’ll get used to the fact that his beloved boy met someone special.”

Kili bit down on his lips. There was no way he could tell Bilbo where he met the blond and who he was.

“I’m sorry for putting even more pressure on you, but remember you can always count on me.” Bilbo assured him warmly.

\-----

In the evening he went to the club again, but to his surprise the Dragon wasn’t dancing. He was nowhere to be seen. As he sat down and gazed with pain at the stage, the small boy called The Flower walked up to him and sat opposite him.

“If you’re not serious about him, you should just leave.” The boy told him in a breaking voice.

“It’s not that I don’t...” Kili gasped surprised with the conformation.

“But you’re ashamed of him. You have no idea about him, but you’re ashamed of him. Of his job. You have no idea what he had to go through in his life and yet you judge him.” Ori spoke bitterly.

“I’m just scared...” Kili gasped surprised with the firmness the boy was showing.

“Man up, and either make it up to him... or just go out of the door.” Ori said his last bitter words and he walked back to the office to the broken crying Fili.

Sitting there most of the night Kili felt his heart breaking. He screwed up. He hurt him badly. He just wanted to see those eyes gaze at him again. He wanted to see the lust and longing again. He wanted to be with him. But he had to face reality. He was never going to be able to be his boyfriend. He would never be able to introduce him to Thorin.

When the brunet walked out Nori had no idea how they would patch Fili back together again.


	8. Chapter 8

When the first breakdown receded after a few weeks, Fili began dancing again. He changed, he saw the worried glances he got, he was lifeless and withdrawn. But he was handling it slowly day by day. The group stopped coming, the day he last saw him. So he wasn’t reminded of him on a daily basis. At night when he closed his eyes, we would feel the warmth again. He would feel the tender kisses and love. He kept dreaming about sex with him. It wasn’t helping. It wasn’t helping at all. His brothers kept him up, they watched over him, forcing him to eat. Dori pulled him to the gym, Nori would drive him to lectures, and Ori would make sure he wrote his thesis, half writing it himself. Fili was slowly realising he would never love anyone as he loved him. And he wasn’t going to give up. He would make something of himself. Even if it killed him.

Getting the diploma was one thing, writing his CV was another huge problem. At first he decided to be honest, but later it turned out that having a gay club as a reference was a very bad idea. After three interviews he sat down and deleted his job experience.

The next few interviews showed a huge problem. What he always considered his greatest advantage was proving to be treated as an absurdity. It wasn’t his fault he had a talent for languages. It wasn’t his fault he began learning like crazy when aunt Ginger bought him his first online language course. They never tested his knowledge they just assumed it was bullshit, and invited him in just to take a look at the bizarre audacious person who wrote bullshit in his CV.

Seven weeks from graduating he felt like giving up. So he went back to the only thing in his life which paid the bills, the club and dancing.

\-----

Balin liked walking around the office watching over everything. He worked with Thorin ever since Thorin met Dwalin in the army. His younger brother immediately pushed the firm experienced older man at the businessman, and that way he got a job in one of the biggest companies in the world. He was smart enough to know that the bigger the company the more control it needed, so he made sure all the parts of the main New York office worked like clockwork.

He heard giggling in the HR department so he peaked in.

“What seems so interesting so early in the morning?” He asked the three office workers.

“Well, it’s just after graduation season... and we were going through the new CVs coming in...” A woman called Susan laughed. “And well some of these CV are so absurd that it’s just...”

Balin just raised his eyebrows and pulled a chair and sat closer to the screen.

“Show me what you mean.” He asked them slowly.

“This girl...” Jessica pulled out a file. “Her name is Marcy Darcy...” She giggled.

“Poor girl...” Balin gasped unsure if he should scold them just yet.

The pointed to a few other CVs, some in fact did have contradicting information.

“So apart from finding curiosities have you actually found anything interesting...” Balin noticed slowly.

“Wait Mr. Fundin, we saved the best for last.” Amanda noticed and pulled out the last file.

“There is nothing special in this CV so far...” Balin noticed seeing the diploma and regular CV information.

“Wait...” She scrolled down to the languages.

They waited for his reaction, he slowly counted the languages. “That is pretty astonishing...” He gasped finally. “Hasn’t the foreign department been asking for someone with Chinese for a year now?”

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting Mr. Fundin?” Jessica gasped with a huge smile.

“Call him in for an interview. I’ll personally talk to him, and we’ll see if he really knows Chinese and all those other languages or not...” Balin smiled at them.

“You’re a man of a crude sense of humour...” Amanda smiled.

“Let’s not judge the book by the cover.” Balin reminded them.

“Actually the cover looks really good...” Susan noticed scrolling back to the top.

Balin gazed at the last name, he knew Oakenshield should mean something to him, but he just couldn’t remember what...

\------

“Hello!” Nori picked up the phone.

“Hello, May I speak to Fili Oakenshield?” A calm female voice asked.

“He’s not home now, but I can take a message.” Nori calmly replied knowing Fili was getting job interviews and rejecting most of them.

“We would like to invite him to a job interview, tomorrow at ten a.m., at the main Erebor office, room 143.” The woman informed him calmly.

“I’ll make sure he arrives.” Nori assured her calmly.

\-----

After a huge fight with Fili, Nori and Ori packed him into his best suit. Later Nori drove him over to the biggest company in New York, but Fili was depressed and unwilling.

“Shut the fuck up... go in and see what they want.” Nori hissed at him. “If you don’t go there... you will regret it the rest of your life. This might be the job you were waiting for.”

“I’m waiting here for you!” Nori pointed his finger at him.

\------

Balin gazed at the CV again. Five language marked as fluent. Two out of which he knew. Chinese and Russian. The list was impressive for someone so young. Nine languages with various levels of proficiency. Four marked as intermediate and three more as pre-intermediate. It would mean the boy was a language genius, or a fraud. No one was so audacious to claim such things in a CV.

He gazed at the boy following the assistant. He was young, but he already knew that. His experienced eyes noticed the hesitation and fear in those eyes, and he wondered how many companies asked him in just to face the strange CV. And if any tested his language skills.

Balin gathered his thought taking in the deep blue eyes and handsome face. He intook the muscular features, remembering the American Football and MMA mention in the CV.

“Sit down please, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Balin said calmly in Chinese and waited for a reaction.

First he saw shock, and as disappointment was slowly kicking in, he saw a light in those eyes. After a moment the boy calmly sat down and in pure clear Chinese replied. “The pleasure is all mine.”

“Have you studied languages at university?” Balin continued the conversation in Chinese.

“No, at first I had a football scholarship, but my main major has always been MBA.” Fili calmly explained.

“So where did you get such knowledge?” Balin asked curiously.

“It has always been something that came naturally to me.” Fili explained. “I had contact with many languages in my childhood, but I consciously began learning at the age of twelve.”

“The list is pretty impressive.” Balin smiled at him lightly. “It took me a few years to learn Chinese, and I had to chance to travel there many times.” He added. “Have you ever been abroad?”

“No, never.” Fili replied.

“I have been wondering. Russian is one of the languages on top of your list. Can you tell me the story of this language in your life?” Balin asked in his perfect Russian.

“My foster mom was half Russian, and when she realised I had talent in languages she just began using it daily at home. Later she bought me some books about it and it just synced in.” Fili explained changing the language accordingly.

“So you were raised in a foster home?” Balin asked slowly.

“My mom died when I was six, I didn’t have any family, so I was placed in a state institution. That’s where I heard Spanish, Romanian, Tagalop, Vietnamese, Chinese and Korean for the first time.” Fili explained. “When my foster mom took me in, she helped me in developing my skills.”

“Why haven’t you used them so far?” Balin asked him slowly.

“Everyone kept asking about my diploma. Somehow my skills in languages seemed worthless without a proper linguistic diploma.” Fili admitted.

“Would you be ready to learn more languages in the future?” Balin asked him switching to his advanced Spanish.

“I would love to learn more.” Fili admitted using the same language.

“That’s good news.” Balin smiled. “Honestly we’ve been searching for someone for our Eastern trade department. But it would seem a waste to limit you to that. As much as they need someone with Chinese, you would be more useful where all your skills will be at use.” Balin smiled at the stunned boy.

“Does that means you actually want to give me a job?” Fili asked in a breaking voice.

“You‘ve already got the job son. I just finished talking with seven graduates of linguistics who can’t speak a correct sentence in Chinese despite claiming so.” Balin smiled at him switching finally to English trying to ease his tension. “I’ll find the best place in the company, I hope that despite your diploma, you’re ready to translate and assist someone? I was thinking especially during foreign travel and business negotiations.”

He saw the blue eyes go wide as in shock. “Of course!” The boy quickly assured him.

“Come in tomorrow eight am sharp. I’ll prepare a contract. You’ll get a car and a mobile phone. We’ll work out all the details tomorrow.” He calmly assured the boy.

“Thank you!” Fili smiled for the first time and as he was walked out, he felt as if his life was finally going the right direction.

\-----

“The boy is just amazing... I’m good at languages... but he’s like a fucking genius.” Balin told his brother slowly as they sat down for lunch.

“So you’re giving him a job?” Dwalin just smiled. He already heard from Ori that Fili was having an interview at Erebor, and he could only wish the best to the kid. He was nice and smart, and the heartbreak from when Kili left him was slowly going away.

“You seem awfully curious.” Balin noticed smartly.

“I sent in his CV.” Dwalin laughed.

“You know him?” Balin gasped.

“My boyfriend’s foster brother.” Dwalin confessed. “There is only thing you should be mindful...”

“What is that?” Balin asked him suspiciously.

“Keep him away from Kili, and I’m serious.” Dwalin warned him seriously.

“What happened?” Balin gasped.

“Kili was ashamed of him... and he broke his heart.” Dwalin knew he could trust his brother. “Keep an eye on him, he’s really a good kid. Extremely talented and smart.”

“I’ll keep both eyes on him.” Balin assured him. “So how long are you planning to work at this club?” He asked him slowly.

“As long as my boyfriend wants to dance there.” Dwalin just shrugged. “Before you find out by accident, the boy used to dance there as well.”

“Just great...” Balin hissed. “Was he any good?”

“He was the best... but he always wanted to do something different.” Dwalin told him slowly.

“Anyway, invite your boyfriend for dinner, I really want to meet him.” Balin told him with a smile.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Dwalin grinned.


	9. Chapter 9

When Fili arrived at the office the next day he got a full set of things. A mobile phone, fancy laptop, car documents and keys. He was shown to his desk at the main office. And Balin passed him a down payment check and told him honestly to spend it on a top class wardrobe.

“I know some might find it offensive, but at an office like this one does not represent himself. He represents the company. I’ve arranged one of our employees to go on a shopping trip with you.” Balin told him with a smile.

“I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am.” Fili told him sincerely.

“Hold your horses... you’ll curse the day when you accepted!” The old man laughed. “Oh here’s Melisa.”

“So what do we need this time Mr. Fundin?” The elegant woman asked.

“Get him everything, and I’m serious everything. He’s going to be on some top meeting as a translator, and he can’t look inappropriate.” Balin told her.

“The best task... What’s the budget?” He handed her the check. She just smiled. “Very well, let’s go then.” She guided the stunned boy out of the office.

As they drove over to the right shops she began explaining the company clothes politics. “At the office it’s okay to wear normal suits, on Fridays most people come in casual clothes. But the real challenge are international meetings, or meetings with VIPs. If they take you to one of those fancy meetings, you have to wear top or the top. But we’ll also buy a few more comfortable things for the office. This is probably your best suit?” She gazed at him curiously. When he nodded she smiled. “It’s actually pretty nice. You’ve got great wide arms, and anything will look great on you.” She just smiled. “On the way back we’re going to a hairdresser as well. Is there anything I should know about? A scar or tattoo perhaps?” She asked.

“I’ve got a tattoo.” He noticed shyly.

“Where?” She gazed at him.

“On my back...” He confessed.

“That’s good, those are the easiest to hide. Just add an extra layer under and it won’t be a bother.” She noticed with a smile.

After the crazy day with the stylist, spending a ridiculous amount of money on clothes, and hearing lots of good tips, Fili came home stunned with the events of the day. Somehow he felt okay, not good yet, but okay. A tiny bit better.

\-----

His first days were calm. He came in, Melisa would show up and train him in etiquette, and make sure he knew how to act even in the most difficult situations. Soon he would get documents in various languages. Balin would supervise his work, and with a kind smile he gave him tips and guidelines.

His first meeting with the main boss was very curt and abrupt. Thorin Durin walked by his desk, stopped and gazed at him.

“Thorin this is our new translator Fili Oakenshield.” Balin introduced them.

“I thought we decided to divide the translations to departments.” Thorin noticed taking in the handsome young man in front of him. His eyes didn’t miss the well selected clothes, well trimmed hair and deep blue eyes.

“Finding a rare jewel so well versed in so many languages I decided he’s be more useful here.” Balin smiled.

“Fine. You’re running the office here.” Thorin noticed dully and continued on to his office.

Soon the days blended, he would get more and more documents, and finally Balin came over with a really challenging task.

“Let’s see if those studies of yours were actually worth the effort.” Balin smiled and handed him a few files. “I want you to take a look at the new offer they sent, and then compare with the past offers and prepare a report.”

“I’ll do my best.” Fili assured him.

“I know you will.” Balin smiled at him warmly. “Good luck son.”

\-----

“So how many languages does he actually know?” Thorin asked Balin as he browsed the well written report.

“Fourteen.” Balin noticed with a smile, seeing his friend in shock.

“Does he really know them?” Thorin had trouble believing.

“His Chinese is better than mine.” Balin smiled. “The HR department thought his CV was a joke... so we invited him in.”

“Is he ready for the real deal?” Thorin noticed.

“Melisa says so. I’ve been testing his stress level, but when I give him difficult tasks he smiles and does it. He’s pretty efficient and smart.” Balin noticed trying to remain objective despite his fatherly feelings for the boy. “He graduated MBA not linguistics so that might make the real difference when it comes to working here.”

“Next month China?” Thorin asked slowly.

“Just don’t be too harsh with him.” Balin pleaded.

“I’ll try.” Thorin grunted surprised that his old director was fawning over the young boy.

\-----

When Fili heard he was going with Thorin Durin to China, he was in shock, but Melisa came in and told him what to pack and how to deal with the whole event. So he prepared to his best ability.

When the trip was just around the corner, the eastern department secretary assigned for the trip came down with a flu, so eventually it was just him and Thorin going.

“You will have to take notes during meetings, here’s the schedule.” Balin handed him the papers. “Did Melisa tell you what to pack?” He told him. “Remember to take something more comfortable for the hotel, you’re going to visit one of our hotels in Thailand so take some sports clothes, they have gyms, swimming pools and what not. You might as well test it all...” Balin winked at him. “Have some fun as well. After the workload make sure to rest and the gym might help you unwind the stress.”

“Thank you for everything...” Fili told him with a smile.

“Let’s see what you say after the trip... it’s not going to be a walk in the park. Thorin is a slave driver.” Balin warned him.


	10. Chapter 10

After arriving at the airport it all went crazy. He sat down with Thorin in the private jet and the rollercoaster began. There was not even a minute to gaze at the view and take in the changing horizon. Thorin told him to read out the most important information from a huge selection of business letters. Later Thorin asked him a million questions about his preparation for the trip, but under Balin’s instruction Fili knew what information to check before their trip.

“Once we arrive, we’re going straight into the conference room. Be prepared for anything.” Thorin warned him. He kept wondering how the blond could be so composed. That last name was bothering him, but the chance that he would be related to that weasel was doubtful. The boy was a bit too handsome, his face a bit too attractive.

“Yes sir.” The boy replied politely.

“We’ll arrive at the hotel late in the evening and next day we have two more meetings.” Thorin told him.

“Yes, Sir.” Fili replied confidently.

Thorin was right the moment they got off the plane it went crazy. An employee of their Asian office took care of their luggage and they drove with a representative straight to the office.

Fili felt the pressure when seven Chinese businessmen were sitting at the table, and he was the one who had to accurately convey their words to Thorin. He kept feeling the man was testing him. But to his shock at the end of the meeting he realised Thorin did in fact know Chinese. He just wanted to see how he would manage.

“You did well.” He heard the first words of praise as they made it to the luxurious hotel. “Rest well, breakfast at seven am, then we’re going through the documents and the first meeting is at ten.”

“Thank you sir.” Fili agreed happy he survived and passed his first test.

The moment he took off his clothes and landed on the bed, he simply fell asleep.

He woke up way before the alarm clock, and cursed the time change. He gazed at the time and scowled. But he was worried he would oversleep if he doused off again... so he just got up, changed to his training clothes and decided to search for the gym advertised on the hotel’s website.

The staff showed him to the empty gym, and Fili could only smile. After a quick warm up on the treadmill, he headed towards the training room. It was just perfect. He inserted his iPod into the speakers and simply closed his eyes and let go. When he opened his eyes a few songs later, he noticed he wasn’t alone anymore. A few people were standing at the entrance of the training room.

“Excuse me Sir, but it’s time we start our training session.” The trainer explained and pointed to the clock marking six am. “You’re free to join us if you like.” The woman proposed.

“That’s all right.” He answered with a smile, and took his iPod. “I’m sorry to intrude.”

“That’s not a problem, we really enjoyed watching you dance, are you a professional dancer?” She asked curiously.

“Not anymore.” He admitted and walked out to the gym with a smile. He checked the time and went to the equipment he felt comfortable with.

“Good morning.” He heard a deep voice to his right.

“Good morning Sir.” He answered to his boss, surprised to see him there.

“Do you always begin your day like this?” Thorin asked curiously noticing the boy was already pretty worked up. Sweat on his t-shirt and forehead. In a suit the boy looked good, but now in sweatpants and t-shirt all his muscles were visible. And what a sight it was.

“If I can.” Fili noticed slowly. “It gives me a lot of energy.” He felt slight tingling as his boss intook his looks, as if seeing him for the first time.

“I feel the same.” Thorin just smiled and began working out himself.

Fili evacuated at half past six and went to take a shower and get ready for another busy day.

At seven, after a quick breakfast, they began working on documents. Thorin told him to summarize a few business offers so he just sat back and focused on his task.

Later Thorin told him what he was expecting of him, it wasn’t really translating it was getting to know their business partners. Catching the undertones, listening in what they were saying among themselves.

“That’s why I always take an official translator, keeping them in the blind about my Chinese has saved my ass a few times. The comments covey more than the real negotiations.” Thorin told him. “A large part of the discussion will be in English anyway.”

He sipped on his coffee and gazed at the blond carefully. “So now honestly, is your Vietnamese and Korean as good as your Chinese?”

“Comparable.” Fili told him slowly.

“That means you’re sticking to this man.” Thorin pointed to the company name. “He’s Vietnamese, and he always comes in with a Chinese and English translator. But he’s never alone and he always talks in Vietnamese to his advisors.”

“Roger that.” Fili nodded seeing the strategy and reason why he was taken there. “So I’m not suppose to show I know the language.”

“You really are as smart as Balin said.” Thorin commented with a smirk making the boy blush a bit. He couldn’t help but muse about just how cute the boy was. “Ready?” He gazed at the time.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” The boy nodded and gathered his things and documents.

As the day was passing Thorin saw the spark in those beautiful blue eyes. Most employees would panic when taken to meetings, for most it took a long while to get used to it, some never accommodated to the stress. But this boy thrived. He was in his element. He felt confident and he knew what he was doing. During the whole meeting he played the translator role, but he really kept an eye on the Vietnamese businessman Thorin needed him to keep an eye on, so when the blond passed him notes on what the man was saying to his advisor Thorin put on his best poker face and faced them head on having the extra knowledge.

When they made it back to the hotel after a very long and fruitful day, Thorin could only smile seeing the blond fight with sleepiness, but he had to admit it, the boy had it in him.

“Seven am breakfast again.” Thorin told him at the end. “We have two short meetings, then you’ll have like three hours to yourself, I need to visit a friend. Will you manage fine on your own?”

“Of course.” The boy nodded.

“At five you have to be back here, we’re packing and going to the airport and flying to South Korea.” Thorin told him.

“I’ll be ready.” Fili assured him. “May I be excused?”

“You may.” Thorin just smirked.

The next day began exactly the same. Fili woke up at half past five and ventured down to the gym. He stretched a bit and took the training room, knowing that the aerobic training for guests starts at six. He put on his music and in a quick move took the floor, thrilled to have a way to unwind.

“So this is what you do in the mornings?” His boss’s voice startled him. He noticed the aerobic trainer and a few people stand in the doorway stunned with his show. His boss included. The deep glare the man sent him, made him feel vulnerable.

“Sorry for taking the room again.” He nodded at the trainer.

“No problem, it’s a pleasure to watch.” The woman winked at him.

“So you trained dancing?” Thorin asked him as they walked towards the gym.

“First was American football, later MMA. Dancing just happened in between.” Fili just shrugged.

Thorin gazed at the beautifully toned body and felt an unwelcome emotion in himself. By all means he loved Bilbo, but he couldn’t help but feel attracted to this beautiful boy. Maybe he was experiencing his middle age crisis, and Thorin Durin never lost control of anything in his life.

After half an hour of tough training the boy excused himself and went back to his room to get ready. And another crazy day began. After lunch Thorin took a taxi to the university to see Gandalf and Fili got another one and decided to take a look around town.

At first the taxi driver was stunned with the young white man speaking perfect Chinese, but later he flooded him with historical information and he drove him around town and personally showed him around the most important sights. Fili bought a few souvenirs to take home, and then it was time to go back to the hotel. He handed the driver a hundred dollar bill, but the man bluntly refused to take it. Fili pulled out a fifty and the man just smiled and quoted an old Chinese proverb ‘Happy is the man without sickness. Rich is the man with no debts.’

He found himself back at the hotel a bit ahead of time, so he quickly packed and patiently waited for Thorin to come back.

Korea was just like China, a marathon. Meeting after meeting, two days of nonstop meetings. But Fili realised they were staying in top class hotels, which always had a great sporting facility. Considering his boss’s habits, he realised they would always have a gym nearby. But the real shock came when they landed in the hotel in Thailand. It was their hotel, and there were no meetings planned. It was an inspection visit. Thorin interviewed the staff, he inspected all the facilities, and Fili obediently followed.

“Finally all done!” Thorin gasped and showed Fili to their huge suite on the beach.

“I’m not sure what you feel like, but I’m going for a swim in that huge pool we got.” Thorin grunted and disappeared into his bedroom.

Fili stood there stunned and realised that his words were in fact and invitation. He quickly changed and pulled on a t-shirt and ventured out. He gazed around at the breathtaking view. He had never been in such a beautiful place in his life.

Thorin walked by and dropped his towel on a chair and jumped in. Fili caught the sight of the solid muscular form. There was something about this man setting him on his toes. Slowly he pulled off his t-shirt and jumped in.

A few laps later they both stopped swimming, Thorin lay on the water gazing at the beautiful sky, and Fili sat down on a special bench under the water. He couldn’t help but admire the strong man, over the last days he realised just how Thorin Durin came to his fortune and he felt overwhelmed to be in his company.

“So how do you like it here?” Thorin suddenly asked him.

“It’s simply beautiful.” Fili easily admitted.

“This is nothing, our hotel in New Zealand is even better.” Thorin laughed. “We have many prime locations.”

“It must have taken years to build an empire like this...” Fili noticed.

“My grandfather began conquering the world in 1947.” Thorin simply noticed. “Keep doing a good job and you’ll see many places all around the world.” Thorin just smirked as he sat down next to the boy.

“I’m still stunned...” Fili admitted easily.

“So tell me more about yourself...” Thorin gazed at the beautiful boy.

“Not much to tell, my life has been pretty up the hill...” Fili grunted and swam away a bit.

Thorin’s eyes went wide seeing the huge tattoo on his back, and suddenly his interest in the boy reached a whole new level.

“So has mine...” Thorin finally grunted and swam closer to him. He stared into those deep blue eyes and he saw some kind of attraction reflected in those eyes.

Fili stared into those bright blue eyes hypnotised. Those eyes were full of complex emotions, and he had no idea how to react to the lust reflected in those eyes. Somehow he found that face really alluring, those high cheekbones, firm jaw. There was something about this man which was incredible attractive. But the moment those lips crashed into his, Fili realised he couldn’t just give in. As much as his body craved sex, there was something deep in his heart saying this was just all wrong. That this was not the person he really wanted.

Thorin felt thrilled, those lips were just so sweet, so alluring and new. But a moment later he felt the strong body reject him. The boy at first kissed back, but later he just pushed away. And that moment Thorin realised what he just did. When he saw those eyes full of tears he realised he seriously fucked up. He fucked up towards his family and Bilbo, and he fucked up towards this boy.

“Fucking shit...” He growled seeing the boy walk out of the pool, and head for the house in tears.

He stood there stunned and depressed and decided to be an adult and face the shit he just did. He took his towel and after getting dressed he knocked on the boy’s door.

When the boy didn’t answer he just walked in only to see him sitting on the floor crying his heart out.

“Shit I’m so sorry...” Thorin sat on the bed near the boy. “I should have never...”

But he didn’t answer he just cried, which was so surprising considering just how strong and strong willed the boy seemed. Thorin realised he must have done something really wrong, which triggered something bad in the boy.

“I assumed you were gay...” Thorin confessed.

The boy finally looked at him. “I am gay...” He noticed slowly.

“Then why are you crying?” Thorin gently asked him.

“I just lost my job, haven’t I?” The boy continued crying.

Thorin inhaled deeply very ashamed. “No, you haven’t. I’m the one who screwed up...” He noticed slowly. “I’m married... and it should have never happened. I’m also very sad I hurt you...”

“You didn’t really hurt me...” The boy gasped trying to regain control.

“Then who did?” Thorin slowly noticed.

The boy didn’t answer he just hid his face again. Thorin inhaled and took a clean towel and did what he would do with the kids, he slowly dried his hair.

“So are you in a relationship?” Thorin asked slowly, but the boy just shook his head. “Tell me about it...”

Fili just wanted to disappear but somehow those warm hands on his head gently drying his hair made him calm down.

“He was... really special... so fucking beautiful that I couldn’t just stop looking at him... I wish I could have been able to look at him all my life...” Tears came back to his eyes.

“What happened?” Thorin whispered.

“It was just so strange... I really really loved him, but he...” Fili gasped.

“He didn’t love you?” Thorin prompted passing him a bottle of water.

“More like he was ashamed of me... he loved having sex with me... but there was no space for me in his life.” Fili continued crying.

Thorin continued gently patted him and without even realising he was holding the boy. All the lustful emotions long gone, he just felt the need to comfort him.

“He was an idiot... you’re very handsome, extremely smart and talented....” Thorin kept assuring him. “You will move on with time...”

“That’s the catch... he’s always in my head... we weren’t even in a real relationship, but I just keep dreaming about him...” Fili confessed. “I’m just so worthless...”

“No, you’re not...” Thorin tried to assure him.

“Everything in my life turns to shit...” Fili kept crying. “Even this chance just went to hell...”

“No, it didn’t. I’m the one who screwed up.” Thorin reminded him. “And you’re not fired... You did the right thing...”

“Why does it not feel right?” Fili sobbed. “Why when someone else kissed me why did I imagine him again?”

“That’s how love works kid...” Thorin gasped. “The more so it’s difficult to think about what happened when I think about my husband...”

“What is he like?” Fili suddenly asked.

“Change your clothes, and I’ll get us a few beers and we can just sit down and chat.” Thorin proposed.

“No immoral propositions?” Fili wanted to make sure.

“And no sexual harassment ever again.” Thorin told him.

“Fine...” Fili gasped and got up.

“Come to the deck when you’re ready.” Thorin smiled at him.

When Fili came fully dressed with slightly red eyes he just grabbed the beer and sat down in a safe distance.

“I’ve known him for ten years now.” Thorin mused looking at the sea.

“Where did you meet him?” Fili gazed at him.

“He was my secretary. I have no idea why Balin hired him, but well he was probably the best assistant I ever had. Somewhere then I began having huge trouble with my nephew and I ended up calling him to help, time after time. My nephew would practically live with him if I left on business and well it just happened.” Thorin inhaled. “I always considered him one of the cutest guys out there, you remind me of him a bit, he’s also blond and has beautiful blue eyes.”

“So why did you feel tempted?” Fili asked unsure.

“It’s more like a crazy impulse. I really love him.” Thorin gasped. “He’s the most feisty person, but can be patient with the kids, he loves cooking and he’s just so warm...”

“How many kids do you have?” Fili asked slowly.

“Six, my nephew, our oldest, is just a few years younger than you. He adopted his nephew a few weeks before our wedding, and later one of his cousins died in a boat accident and we ended up with one boy and two girls. Our last child was adopted from the orphanage three years ago.” Thorin told him.

“That’s really kind of you...” Fili noticed.

“What is?” Thorin asked seeing the tears in the boy’s eyes.

“That you took them all in.” Fili noticed.

“That’s what family is for. We couldn’t just leave them...” Thorin confessed.

“You can tell that to my family...” Fili hissed with spite.

“What do you mean?” Thorin asked him slowly.

“When my mom died... they just abandoned me.” Fili shrugged.

“What happened to you?” Thorin’s voice nearly broke down seeing the sadness in the boy’s eyes.

“Five years in state institutions, later I was sent to a foster family. They might have not been rich, but I have a real family now.” Fili confessed.

“So you were very lucky...” Thorin noticed.

“I’ve got three brothers that way. Our aunt Ginger died, but she was really really nice, and she left us her house. We’re still living there together.” Fili noticed.

“When did you start training football?” Thorin asked curiously.

“High school...” Fili gasped.

“How good were you?” Thorin asked with a smile.

“Pretty good, if not for that pulmonary concussion I might have become pro.” Fili confessed.

“How did you survive that?” Thorin noticed slowly.

“I spent a long time in hospital.” Fili gasped.

“So how did you manage to pay for your studies?” Thorin asked curiously.

“I worked.” Fili noticed.

“And why wasn’t that in your CV?” Thorin noticed wittily.

“Let’s put it this way... no one would hire me ever if I put it there...” Fili noticed.

“You danced?” Thorin easily concluded.

“In a night club. A gay one. Most people would think I’m a prostitute and I’m not...” Fili noticed slowly.

“Of course you’re not... So when your lover left you, you did everything possible to change your life?” Thorin noticed.

When the boy slowly nodded he burst out with laughter. “If only he could see you now...” Thorin smiled and Fili immediately noticed the hilariousness of the situation and giggled as well.

As they were coming home the next day, Fili realised he had never bonded with anyone so fast. Once they settled never to touch upon the delicate topic, they hit it like wildfire. Fili soon realised he could tell him man anything and he would receive only support and sincerity. They talked about Thorin’s time in the army, about how he took over the business. And after a very short sleep they packed and left.

“You know you did really well Son?” Thorin noticed. He insisted on calling him that, putting things into the right perspective.

“I know.” Fili nodded relived to finally be home.

“Take tomorrow off, I’ll see you on Monday.” Thorin noticed with a light smile.

“Thank you Thorin.” Fili nodded still a bit unsure about talking to his boss on a first name basis.


	11. Chapter 11

The gossip reached the family a few weeks later. Bilbo never really believed in gossip, so he just shrugged and decided to talk to Thorin in private at the right time. Most of the kids dismissed it as untrue from the start, but Kili didn’t... Bilbo had been really worried about him, the last months the boy was a shade of himself. Sulking, pessimistic and depressed. He wondered what happened between Kili and the blond boy, and after some time he realised it was their visit. The blond disappeared from Kili’s life soon after the trip to the zoo.

Before he had a chance to face Thorin about it, Kili decided to take things into his hands. He confidently walked into the office and took the elevator to his uncle’s office. But he was unprepared for the sight he saw. He was so fired up and agitated, that seeing the blond something just burst in him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He walked up to the blond’s desk with rage in his eyes. He didn’t noticed the pure shock and pure longing in those blue eyes, he only saw red and reacted.

“I’m working.” The blond noticed slowly unsure what to say or do.

“Not anymore.” Kili hissed.

“Son, you can’t fire my staff...” Thorin noticed from the doorway. But when Kili’s eyes faced him, he saw the fury in his eyes.

“You just had to hire a fuck buddy...” Kili gasped with spite. “How dare you say I can’t fire him, if his place is in the gutter where he came from!”

“Come into my office... so that we can talk like adults.” Thorin showed him in. “You can take the rest of the day off, relax a bit, and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

Fili just sat there stunned. The same cheekbones, the same jaw line. The same hair. Realisation hit him badly and nearly knocked him out. No wonder Thorin reminded him of his past lover... He didn’t feel the tears flowing down his face, he didn’t see the evil glares follow him out. He walked home instead of taking the car. All the sadness of the breakup hitting him tenfold. His new job was too good to last and be true. Fate played a trick on him again.

When he opened the door, he walked to the only place he could think of. The kitchen. He didn’t think it wouldn’t hurt... he always assumed it would hurt badly. As the blood was slowly covering the floor he was slightly disappointed that it didn’t hurt like it should...

\------

Dwalin was in the middle of dinner when he saw Ori called him. Ori rarely called him, and he would never call during a lunch with his brother unless it was important.

“Hey what’s up?” He managed to say before the flood of words came his way.

“Call an ambulance, I’ll be right there.” Dwalin hissed. “Go back to the office and find out what happened...”

“What do you mean?” Balin asked pale and worried.

“Ori just found Fili... with his wrists cut...” Dwalin gasped and ran out.

\-----

Ori was in a state of panic, but despite it he found some towels to stop the bleeding. He used anything he could find and called Dwalin and later the ambulance. He checked his pulse and breathed in finally, Fili was alive.

When the ambulance arrived, he could breathe as the medics saw to Fili’s condition. Soon Dwalin was there, and he held him tightly reassuring. He told him to change his clothes, and when Nori and Dori arrived the three brothers drove to the hospital.

“I’ll join you soon.” Dwalin grunted and drove to Erebor.

\-----

Thorin had a huge fight with Kili about what the boy said and did. He silently faced the accusations Kili yelled at him, and told him that he would talk about that only with Bilbo and that it wasn’t his business. The result was the furious Kili was sitting on the sofa sulking, and Thorin was thinking of what to do next.

The knock on the door did not help, and when he saw Dwalin he could only blink. His former lover was a good friend, but because of the delicate past they met only from time to time.

“We need to talk.” Dwalin hissed.

“Let’s go to the other office.” Thorin grunted gazing at the furious Kili.

“No, we should talk here, I mainly have to talk with him not you.” Dwalin faced Kili head on.

“So what is so urgent we need to talk now?” Thorin noticed.

“What did you tell him?” Dwalin stared Kili down.

“To whom?” Kili hissed.

“You know who I’m talking about.” Dwalin noticed sternly.

“I told him the truth...” Kili hissed.

“Which part of the truth? The part where you broke up with him just because you were ashamed of him? Or the part where he was a fucking idiot to have loved you so much in the first place?” Dwalin hissed at Kili.

“The part that he should go back to the gutter and stop fucking my uncle...” Kili hissed.

Dwalin gazed from one to the other and suddenly began laughing. “Him and your uncle?” He nearly bent in half from laughter.

“Well kid I hope your conscience can take a lot, because if he actually dies tonight it will be only your fault.” Dwalin ended on a grim note.

“What do you mean?” Thorin asked worried.

“He’s in ICU after a very successful and bloody suicide attempt. So well as much as I’ve always respected you Thorin... you will have to excuse me but I never want to see your nephew again...” Dwalin slammed the door and left.

Thorin just stood there dumb folded. He gazed at Kili’s pale lifeless face. And then he saw it. The real reason for the direct assault was intense jealousy. Seeing the blond drove Kili crazy, and the pure emotions in his eyes indicated just how much Kili loved him.

“Why did you break his heart?” Thorin asked gently.

“What does it matter now...” Kili pulled his knees closer and began crying as if the world had in fact ended.

“We’ll come back to this.” Thorin told him a low voice, and walked out.

\------

Thorin stood next to Dwalin in the hospital. The tiny red head boy was clinging to Dwalin with tears in his eyes. The other red head was sitting on the chairs depressed and the older grey haired brother was yelling at the doctors to do more.

“I’m sorry Mr. Luin but he’s got a rare blood type. We’re transporting blood from Chicago, but it will take a bit.” The doctor explained.

“Can’t you give him 0?” Dori insisted.

“We could but our bank is empty.” The doctor confessed.

“You’ve got two 0 donors here.” Dori pointed to him and his brother.

“Before we do the tests and verify your blood it might take a bit...” The doctor tried to stall.

“So start before he actually dies...” Dori hissed and called Ori to him.

\------

It was a difficult night, but Thorin decided not to leave him there. Dwalin took Ori home after the boy gave his blood. He wasn’t feeling well and was pale. Balin showed up late evening, sat next to Thorin.

“How is he doing?” Balin slowly asked.

“He’s stable physically.” Thorin grunted.

“Have you called Bilbo?” Balin slowly suggested.

“Didn’t have the courage...” Thorin noticed. “Someone told my family that Fili was my lover... And I want you to find out who...”

Balin just inhaled. “I’ll investigate. What now?”

“I’m going to take care of him.” Thorin grunted. “Kili drove him to this... so I need to take care of him.”

“You should call Bilbo. And check on Kili.” Balin advised.

“Fine...” Thorin walked out and called Bilbo.

“What’s going on?” Bilbo’s voice indicated he was wide awake and anxious.

“A lot of shit... Did Kili come home?” He asked slowly breathing in the chilly night air.

“He’s trying to drink himself to death...” Bilbo complained. “Where the hell are you?”

“Kili confronted him today... and it ended really badly.” Thorin slowly told him.

“I should have known he would... Did you have a fight with Kili?” Bilbo asked trying to remain calm.

“We did, but that’s not the problem...” Thorin noticed.

“Then what is?” Bilbo’s voice was obviously agitated and irritated.

“I need you...” Thorin gasped. “This is too much shit to be handle by one person...”

“Thorin, where the fucking hell are you?” Bilbo gasped annoyed.

“Memorial Hospital. He’s in critical condition.” Thorin finally gasped.

“What happened?” Bilbo gasped surprised.

“Could you please come here?” Thorin begged.

“Just answer one question...” Bilbo inhaled hurt.

“Ask away...” Thorin grunted.

“Have you ever cheated on me?” Bilbo demanded firmly.

“No.” Thorin replied.

“I’ll be there in twenty.” Bilbo hung up.


	12. Chapter 12

When Bilbo arrived he found Thorin sitting on a bench in front of the hospital. And he was doing the one thing Bilbo absolutely hated, he was smoking. Bilbo could see just how much Thorin was shaken by the events of the day. He sat down next to him.

“Tell me... was there anything between you two?” Bilbo asked gently, his emotions down.

“I kissed him.” Thorin confessed not looking at his husband.

“And?” Bilbo demanded in a hurt tone.

“And nothing. Nothing happened.” Thorin noticed. “And nothing will ever happen.”

“So why does the whole office think you’re close to him?” Bilbo demanded.

“Because we are... The boy, he’s like a son to me.” Thorin told Bilbo slowly. “He’s just so smart and so special, it’s like he’s a younger version of me plus eleven languages.”

“Why haven’t you told me about him?” Bilbo gasped hurt.

“I was scared you wouldn’t understand...” Thorin gasped. “But that’s not the real problem...”

“Was it?” Bilbo’s voice was ice cold.

“Do you remember when we talked about Kili and his broken heart?” Thorin reminded him.

“What about it?” Bilbo inhaled.

“It’s the same person.” Thorin noticed.

“What?” Bilbo gasped surprised and immediately he saw the blond from the morning before the zoo.

“You’re kidding me?” Bilbo gasped.

“Kili broke his heart and left him. And when Kili walked into the office and saw him, he went into rage. He told him some really bad shit... and well I should have known just how fragile Fili was...” Thorin inhaled the smoke again.

“You two talked a lot?” Bilbo gasped annoyed.

“I didn’t connected him to Kili, up till today. We talked a lot, the kid is pretty special and had a really shitty life. Kili hurt him badly and rejected him...” Thorin told him. “And it just came down falling on his head...”

“What do you expect from me?” Bilbo spoke in a deadly cold tone.

“I want to take care of him.” Thorin gasped. “And I’m asking for your help.”

“You know that’s just cruel?” Bilbo hissed. “Bringing the boy you’re attracted to into our home? Bringing our son’s ex lover into our home?”

“Bilbo, trust me please.” Thorin begged him.

“Fine... but any trouble and we’re talking this over.” Bilbo noticed.

“I’m not going to let him down... like most of the people in his life. His own family rejected him and sent him to an orphanage...” Thorin gasped. “Let’s not talk about it now... but I really feel the need to help him.”

Bilbo just inhaled. “I’d like to see him.” He decided with pain.

Thorin put out his cigarette and walked inside. Bilbo just raised his eyebrows seeing Balin in front of the room. A red head boy with tattoos was sleeping on a chair next to the bed, holding the blond’s hand.

“The doctor came by a few minutes ago.” Balin whispered to them. “He’s slowly stabilising.”

“How much blood did he lose?” Bilbo gasped noticing just how pale the boy was.

“They gave him over two litres.” Balin gasped.

“Did the blood from Chicago arrive?” Thorin asked.

“That’s the portion.” Balin pointed to the IV stand with the blood bag.

“Is there anything we can do now?” Bilbo asked slowly, feeling sorry for the boy despite all his negative emotions.

“No much...” Balin gasped. “But there is no way I would be able to just go home and sleep...”

“It’s as if seeing a son of mine hurt...” Balin added after a moment. “How are you handling this Bilbo?”

“I’m not handling it.” Bilbo confessed.

“Give him a clean streak.” Balin pleaded. “There was little truth in all the gossip.”

“I never trust in gossip... but it does bother me when my husband has secrets from me...” Bilbo hissed. “Anyway... let’s go home, and we’ll both come in the morning.” Bilbo noticed.

“Will you stay here?” Thorin noticed sadly.

“I will and so will Nori. Dwalin and Ori are coming in the morning.” Balin assured them.

“Let’s go then.” Thorin grunted.

“I’m driving.” Bilbo gasped. “Let’s go see how our son is doing...”

They found Kili passed out on the sofa, and Thorin carried him to his room. He was glad Kili came home instead of going to his flat and being alone.

“Let’s go to bed.” Bilbo gently noticed.

As they made it to their bedroom, Thorin had huge difficulty falling asleep.

“Do you swear nothing else happened? There is other secret I should know about?” Bilbo gasped suddenly.

“I told you everything.” Thorin confessed.

“Were you tempted to try again?” Bilbo hissed.

“The more I got to know him, the more obvious it was nothing would ever happen. I see him as a son. A child needing help and guidance.” Thorin inhaled.

“Seriously nothing?” Bilbo asked yet again.

“Never.” Thorin grunted.

“Good!” Bilbo inhaled and began kissing a path down his neck. “If you ever do anything... I’ll never forgive you...” He groped his husband and did the only thing he could to make them both forget.

\-----

When they got up Kili was already in the kitchen making himself a strong coffee.

“How is he?” His whisper surprised Thorin.

“He stabilized during the night.” Thorin told him calmly. He could see the boy breathe in with relief. “We’re going to visit him soon, would you like to come?” He finally proposed. But Kili just shook his head and walked away.

\-----

When they arrived Fili was awake, the youngest red head was sitting on the bed and it was obvious the blond was crying in his arms. Bilbo’ heart nearly broke down at that sight.

“Will you come in with me?” Thorin noticed.

Bilbo gasped and followed him without a word. He sat on the other side of the bed trying to be invisible.

Ori gazed up seeing Thorin.

“I’ll take care of him.” Thorin assured him calmly, and they changed on the bed. Fili didn’t look up to him, his head was hidden in the pillow.

He gently petted his head and embraced him, and the boy just cried even more.

“It’s going to be okay...” He tried to assure him.

“Nothing is ever going to be okay...” The boy gasped depressed.

“Nothing is as important as your own life...” Thorin kept talking gently. “I thought you knew you could count on me son.”

“It’s not about you...” Fili cried desperately.

“It’s about what he said to you...” Thorin whispered. “You still love him...” He suddenly realised why the boy was so depressed. It wasn’t about the words, it was about who said it to him.

The crying just increased, and Bilbo’s heart felt like breaking.

“No lover is worth such pain...” Bilbo sat down next to his husband. But the boy didn’t look at him, his face hidden in Thorin’s embrace.

He gently petted the boy’s back realising he was broken, all his annoyance diminishing. “We’re going to take care of you...” He spontaneously said. “We all played a role in what happened to you, and we all are going to make it up to you.”

“It’s not about any of you... I’m just worthless...” He cried in Thorin’s arms.

“You’re far from worthless...” Thorin whispered to him tenderly. He saw the pain in Bilbo’s eyes was replaced with empathy for the boy.

“We’re going to take you home, and I’m going to take care of you.” Bilbo suddenly told the boy. When he saw those unusual blue eyes gaze at him, he realised why both Kili and Thorin were entranced with this boy. But the pain in them made him feel sorry for what Kili did to him.

“Why would you do that?” Fili gasped puzzled. “Everyone in the office... everyone...” Tears came back to his eyes.

“I trust my husband.” Bilbo told him gently. “He told me everything and I trust both of you.” Fili gazed at him with so much amazement he stopped crying.

When Bilbo and Thorin told Dori they wanted to take Fili with them and that Bilbo would take care of him, Dori was relived.

“We work all day, so it’s really kind of you...” He admitted.

“I’ll keep an eye on him, and believe me the kids will keep him busy and uplifted.” Bilbo just smiled.

“Do you have any idea when we can take him home?” Thorin asked the serious young man who went grey prematurely.

“Probably tomorrow, the doctor said he’s recovering.” Dori noticed. “At least physically.”

“I’m working from home... I’ll really keep an eye on him.” Bilbo told him.

“Will we be able to come and visit?” Dori asked slowly.

“You’ll always be welcome.” Thorin assured him, wondering what the serous man did for a living.


	13. Chapter 13

Fili gazed at the house with amazement. He had never seen anything like it, so the idea that he would stay with Thorin and Bilbo until he was better, was simply unbelievable.

The kids were overbearing a bit, but they treated his arrival with huge enthusiasm.

“Come on, I’ll show you to your room... How are you feeling?” Bilbo gently guided him upstairs.

“Tired and weak...” Fili gasped.

“So maybe you should just rest a bit now.” Bilbo showed him to his room. “I’ll bring you a snack.”

“Thank you...” Fili gasped with emotion.

\-----

Kili had no idea why Bilbo would invite the blond to come and live in their home, even if temporarily. He was so bitter and so shaken by everything, nothing really played a role in his life anymore. Even the kids couldn’t cheer him up, and with every day sulking and drinking, Kili had the feeling he fucked up his whole life.

“Just how long do you plan to be stuck here?” Bilbo asked him gently bringing him some painkillers and water.

“I have nothing better to do...” Kili gasped.

“If you want something to do... I can find something.” Bilbo noticed dully.

“Why is he here?” Kili suddenly asked.

“Because he should be here.” Bilbo replied simply.

“Are you sure it’s a good decision to have him so close to uncle?” Kili gasped annoyed.

“Contrary to you I know what happened, and I trust my husband. The boy is really nice and he’s not a problem, no matter how much you might suggest it.” Bilbo told him firmly. “So stop sulking, stop drinking, go and apologise to him.”

“Apologise for what?” Kili gasped depressed.

“For leaving him like that... don’t try to lie, I know you left him because I came over with the kids and you were too embarrassed to introduce him to us... I have no idea how much that would hurt if Thorin did that to me...” Bilbo didn’t take pity on him and drilled the topic.

“I couldn’t introduce him...” Kili gasped with tears in his eyes.

“Why not?” Bilbo gently asked trying to ease his tension a bit.

“I don’t know his name...” Kili laid down and hid his face in his pillow.

“What?” Bilbo gasped surprised and he gently petted his head.

“We never really talked... it was more...” Kili gasped hurt and depressed.

“Physical?” Bilbo prompted.

Kili just nodded.

“Well it’s a good chance to apologise and find out.” Bilbo gently told him. “You hurt him a lot, but it would do you both good if you talked seriously about everything that happened.”

“I don’t want to...” Kili gasped.

“Well honestly, you should...” Bilbo gasped. “He’s going to stay, maybe not here in the home, but in Erebor. Thorin is already grooming him to take over the company...”

“What? A fucking dancer take over Erebor?” Kili gasped with spite taken by surprise.

“He graduated MBA... and he does know fourteen languages...” Bilbo told him slyly.

Kili just stared at him with disbelief.

“I assume you didn’t talk about a lot of things... He’s really smart, and really nice.” Bilbo told him gently. “Think about it...”

Kili just clutched his pillow still not believing what he heard. Thinking back to the past his heart was aching, and as he was remembering the warm arms embrace him in dance, tears came into his eyes. He just wanted to die.

\------

Kili awoke in the middle of the night with a splitting headache from crying. So he slowly got up, and got a bottle of water and some more painkillers. As he was walking back to his bedroom, he head crying. He gasped annoyed knowing it was the blond’s room, because the family lived in a further part of the huge house. He stood there annoyed at himself that he couldn’t just walk away.

He slowly opened the door and when he walked in he had no idea what to say or do. He walked slowly to the bed taking the sight of the blond in the huge bed. As he reached the bed he realised the blond was in fact still sleeping. He gasped annoyed there was no way he could calm him down, and if he would say anything the blond would probably cry even more.

He slowly petted the beautiful blond hair, now neatly cut. But the blond did not stop. Feeling defeated Kili did the only thing that came to his mind. He gently slid under the cover and laid down, and using his whole body he embraced him.

“I’m here... please don’t cry...” Kili whispered and to his surprise soon those strong arms embraced him and the blond in fact did stop crying. But he was stuck. So with a gasp he just snuggled in and drifted away.


	14. Chapter 14

Fili awoke feeling strange. Rested for a change. And very warm. It took him a moment to register something felt different. The heat was a person. As he intook the long brown hair and the beautiful nose and face he just winced. It was such a shock. But his heart was screaming at him delighted. After all those months of heartache, after the brutal confrontation and what happened later... Having him near was still heaven. His smell, his warmth, his touch was still the only thing he wanted in his life.

When those brown eyes opened, he didn’t see any spite or anger. Only tenderness and surprise. Soft longing. So he just leaned in.

As their lips pressed together Kili’s heart soared into the sky. It felt the same. Just like before. His whole body immediately on fire. His soul longing the only person in the world he really wanted. Kili reacted on instinct he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled them even closer.

Both of them forgot any words, it was just pure passion. Two starved bodies, demanding each other. Kili ground against the warm body underneath him, somehow on instinct he was extremely gentle sensing his lover’s delicate condition.

“I’m glad you two settled your differences.” Bilbo’s calm voice broke their heated kiss.

Kili just gazed at Fili with wide eyes, and he saw the shock in those beautiful eyes, as if he only realised what was happening just then.

“Sorry to interrupt but it’s time for your meds.” Bilbo calmly put the tray on the table. “I’ll bring you both some more food since it’s a breakfast for two. But tomorrow you’re making breakfast for both of you.” He pointed his finger at Kili and walked out.

“You’re not angry at me anymore?” Fili whispered in a breaking voice.

“Not exactly.” Kili whispered in a hoarse tone.

“Bilbo’s going to be back in a few minutes...” Fili noticed dully.

“Are you kicking me out?” Kili trembled with worry.

Fili just gazed at him in such a way Kili shut up immediately and his throat went dry.

“Never...” Fili replied in one simple word.

“We need to talk.” Kili realised.

“The understatement of the year...” Fili agreed.

“Just one question...” Kili spat feeling anger arise again. “Did you have sex with Thorin?”

“No.” Fili replied feeling as if he got a strike to the gut.

“Fine we can talk later...” Kili said and reached for the cup of tea Bilbo brought on the tray. “Meds?” He passed Fili a tiny bowl with a few pills.

Fili just sighed and obediently took the pills and sipped on the tea to swallow.

A second later Bilbo walked in a put a second plate for Kili on the tray and a glass of orange juice.

“I’m going to drive the kids to school. Remember you’re picking up the girls from the airport at three.” Bilbo reminded Kili.

“I remember.” Kili scowled feeling like a small kid being scolded.

“I’m sorry to be an ass, but he’s on doctor’s leave, so basically no strenuous exercise...” Bilbo scolded both of them making them both bright red.

When the door closed they were both still red and silent.

“Did he just basically tell us no sex?” Fili sighed adding the information.

“That’s Bilbo.” Kili grimaced. “So what now?”

“We talk?” Fili suggested.

“I’m hungry.” Kili complained and gave him one plate with toast and egg, and took the other for himself.

“I’m not really hungry.” Fili complained.

“You’re healing. Shut up and eat.” Kili growled.

Fili just gazed at him and obediently ate the dish, despite not really feeling hungry.

“Are you always this pushy?” Fili noticed surprised with the fierceness of his lover.

“Nope... you just tick me like that...” Kili confessed.

Fili gazed at him with heartbroken eyes and Kili felt his resolve to be firm crumbling. “Damn close those blue eyes of yours...”

“What?” Fili’s eyes went even wider.

“You are just too much...” Kili exhaled and kissed him deeply. He broke the kiss with a deep moan and gazed at him.

“Do you think we could possibly start where we should have?” Kili growled at him.

“Where do you suggest we start?” Fili couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi, I’m Kili, it’s nice to meet you.” Kili took his hand with a sly smile.

“Hi... I’m Fili, the pleasure is all mine...” Fili shook his hand. He saw the surprise, but nothing could mask his own surprise at the rhyming names.

“You’re kidding me?” Kili inahled, but Fili just shook his head as an answer. Then Kili just began giggling and laughing. Kili felt those warm strong arms embrace him, and he saw the shy smile on Fili’s lips. “That’s like the biggest fucking coincidence in the whole world! So I guess that means we’re meant to be?” He noticed.

“I guess so.” Fili smiled back, the way Kili was smiling was driving him crazy, and he could only feel happy seeing him like that.

“I was an ass...” Kili noticed gazing at the bandages on Fili’s hands.

“It depends from point of view. Some might say I was an idiot for aiming too high...” Fili noticed sadly.

Kili gazed at him seriously, he saw the huge pain he caused to him. He saw the reflection of tears and despair. “So what now?” He realised unsure of what to do.

“I have absolutely no idea.” Fili noticed sadly. “You’re the one dealing the cards, I’m just the beggar taking whatever you give...” He noticed sadly.

“You know how bad that sounds?” Kili seemed depressed.

Fili pointed to his bandages. “I know exactly how that sounds...”

“You’re making me feel even worse...” Kili hid his face in the pillow with a low growl. “I’m so sorry for everything...” Kili admitted with tears in his eyes. “Walking out on you, felt so horrible and so heartbreaking I actually considered doing it myself...”

“Why didn’t you just come back?” Fili noticed sadly.

“I was scared... that’s why I walked out in the first place... My family, facing them, everything... I was scared...” Kili frowned annoyed at himself.

“You could have at least tried... What you basically just said means appearances were more important to you than me...” Fili noticed sadly.

“That’s why I fucked up badly... and I won’t be surprised if you tell me to fuck off and get lost...” Kili grimaced annoyed at himself.

“I’m the beggar, I can only beg for more...” Fili noticed sadly. “When you walked into that office and said what you said...” Fili paused. “You took all my hope away and everything just fell down like a house of cards. I lost everything...”

“You had hope?” Kili breathed in annoyed with himself.

“I thought it was the job thing... so I just did whatever I could to begin a new life...” Fili gently told him. “But it was all meaningless...”

Kili hid his face again. “ I’m such a looser...You really should just kick me out...”

Fili gently embraced his shacking crying form. “I can only beg... so please just stay...” He whispered tenderly. “I need you...”

“How can you say that? I hurt you so much...” Kili noticed grimly in despair.

“I have only two options in my life... either I love you... or I should just finish what I started that day...” Fili whispered to him gently.

“I just want to die... I screwed up so badly...” Kili sobbed not really focusing on the words and not catching the love confession.

Fili just held him tenderly. The pain was still there in his heart, but hearing the pain Kili was in, hearing he actually regretted leaving him, hearing the way Kili was going through it... it softened Fili’s heart and eased his pain.

After a longer while Kili rested in the warm embrace, he had no idea why Fili wasn’t rejecting him, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“So what happened between you and Thorin that put the office in an uproar...” Kili realised the one last thing hurting him immensely.

Fili inhaled, he wanted to avoid talking about it, but he should have known the topic would not just go away without facing it.

“When we were in Thailand he kissed me...” Fili confessed the truth.

“What?” Kili twisted and gazed at him with fury. “And?” He insisted.

“And nothing... nothing happened. Later we talked it over, and we settled it.” Fili noticed.

“How did you settle it?” Kili’s eyes went narrow.

“He told me about Bilbo and the family, and I told him about you...” Fili explained. “Since then he began calling me son... He’s a great person...”

Kili’s eyes were so jealous and furious at the same time. “Nothing?”

“Nothing.” Fili confirmed.

“Good... cause if you ever cheat on me I’ll personally kill you...” Kili hissed.

“That’s music to my ears...” Fili smiled at kissed him tenderly.

“But Bilbo said...” Kili whined.

“Nothing too strenuous...” Fili winked at him and pulled him closer.

“What devilish idea do you have in your head?” Kili shivered feeling those warm hands roam his body.

“I waited too long, I’m not waiting any longer...” Fili kissed his way done his neck.

Kili just smiled and replied with feverish kisses.

\------

Fili felt apprehensive, he was still scared Kili would reject him, but this was way much better than the months without him. Kili was trying to make it all up by taking care of him. And sometimes he even seemed a little overbearing. He would bring him snacks, spend time with him and sleep with him. As he was finally feeling stronger, Kili took the initiative and invited him to officially move to his flat.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Fili noticed slowly.

“You don’t want to live with me?” Kili practically had tears in his eyes. Fili just inhaled, and faced the truth he would never be able to refuse Kili.

“How far is it from the office?” Fili said unsure about the location.

“Just a ten minute walk.” Kili grinned at him.

“Fine, but if you ever feel like you need more space... just tell me.” Fili begged.

“I’ll never reject you ever again.” Kili kissed him.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow what a reaction... I actually feel like I've poked a tiger in the eyes... Well hope you won't lynch me...

“Dwalin... I’ve been thinking.” Balin’s voice seemed very serious and his brother had no idea what got the old man so worked up.

“About?” He asked him slowly.

“Oakenshield.” Balin noticed.

“About Fili?” Dwalin asked surprised.

“No, about where I heard that name before.” Balin admitted.

“And?” Dwalin inquired.

“And nothing... I think I’m becoming senile and my brain and memory are not as they used to be... And this whole thing is bugging me...” Balin admitted with defeat.

“So you want me to take a closer look?” Dwalin knew what his brother needed.

“I would really appreciate it.” Balin noticed. “Somehow I keep feeling it was something important...”

“Fine...” Dwalin gasped. “I’ll see what I’ll dig out...”

\------

“Why are you going to investigate my brother?” Ori asked him suspiciously.

“It’s not about your brother... Balin says he knew someone with that name and he’s become obsessed with remembering who it was.” Dwalin gasped.

“Do you think that person might be related to Fili?” Ori noticed.

“I have no idea...” Dwalin noticed. “Too bad no family was found when he became an orphan.” He added.

“That’s not the story. They refused to take care of him. It’s not that he didn’t have anyone, he had and those sick fucks said no.” Ori gasped annoyed.

Dwalin stared into those pain stricken eyes. “He found his way into your life... He was better off than with people like that...” He kissed his beloved boyfriend gently.

“If you find them... I want to give them a piece of my mind.” Ori noticed firmly for a change.

“I’ll make sure to make their life a bit more difficult.” Dwalin noticed grimly.

\------

As Fili and Kili were finally settling down and trying to build a life together with everyone’s blessing, Dwalin was slowly digging into the last name causing so much trouble to his brother.

First he found some random data on the internet, and surprisingly he found that the last name wasn’t popular. Soon he hit a wall. Apart from a few face book accounts of random people with a similar last name, nothing interesting came up. So he decided to try from the far end. From Fili.

Dwalin had contacts everyone, so finally feeling apprehensive he called his friend in the FBI. He heard he would have to wait, so he patiently did.

When after a few days Dwalin saw parcel came in, he opened it and to his surprise it was a portable drive and a short note. “Safest way to send...” He gazed surprised at the note and the drive.

He opened the drive and seeing the file he understood why his friend did it like that. First were Fili’s files. He knew his mother died when he was five or six, he saw the documents renouncing parental rights. Father: Villi Oakenshield. And immediately he knew he saw that name before. And he finally understood Balin’s need to dig up whatever he could.

His heart was breaking for Fili, as he read the files of his life. As his legal situation was unsolved for a long time preventing adoption forever, but at the same time tying him to a parent who rejected him.

Then he focused on the second file and saw a top secret logo. His heart was pounding as he read about what Villi had done. He blinked surprised seeing that he had in fact worked in Erebor, during Thrain’s time. Then he nearly had a heart attack seeing why the file was sealed. He used Erebor for illegal business and activities. Smuggling, money laundering. If not for the fact that Thorin went into full cooperation, he could have lost the company and be accused of the same acts. The whole issue was pushed under the carpet and quietened. The question was why, but all the other files were erased.

Dwalin slowly gazed at the dates. Fili was born before Villi began working at Erebor. But when he was orphaned by his mother, Villi was affluent and well situated. He could have taken care of his child, but he refused. Sending Fili to an unknown fate at state institution. What parent would do something like that? But fate kicked Villi in the ass, and a few months after rejecting his son, he was discovered and prosecuted. Dwalin wasn’t surprised to see a death certificate with the news of the suicide.

“If he died, Fili’s legal situation should have been solved... But it was on hold for several years...” Dwalin noticed the inconsistency.

He gazed at the documents again. Something was wrong. Something was hidden. And nothing made Dwalin more fired up than a mystery worth solving.

He returned to Fili’s documents and gazed at the time when the boy was in the orphanage. And finally after reading a few long boring documents he found what he was looking for.

‘...on hold until a decision is made by the step-mother...’ When his eyes found the fragment his heart nearly stopped.

He returned to Vili’s file. But there was no trace of any marriage certificate. It took him a few days to get the last information he needed to talk to Balin. But when the marriage certificate came in, he nearly had a heart attack.

“Thorin?” He called his best friend. “We need to talk. Seriously.”

\-----

“So what’s so urgent?” Thorin gazed at him surprised, especially as Dwalin closed the office door and locked it.

“Shit... Balin asked me to look into something... and well now I know I should have refused...” Dwalin gasped.

“What made you so worked up?” Thorin gazed at him coldly.

“Oakenshield.” Dwalin gasped.

“What about Fili?” Thorin noticed worried.

“Villi. Why didn’t you tell me about him?” Dwalin was surprised.

“Were did you find out about him?” Thorin’s eyes went unusually cold and dark.

“Balin pushed me into checking Fili’s family background... and that name came up.” Dwalin noticed.

“And you just had to dig deep and find Villi’s connection to Erebor...” Thorin growled. “Do you know how far I had to go to bury this issue?”

“Thorin, I’m in your corner... but you could have trusted me and Balin.” Dwalin noticed.

“What’s done is done. Keep it all to yourself and never come back to it.” Thorin ordered grimly.

“It’s not really about Villi anymore, is it?” Dwalin slowly noticed.

Thorin just gasped annoyed.

“I know most of it...” Dwalin noticed. “But I know a few things you probably don’t...”

“Why dig it up after so many years?” Thorin hissed with spite.

Dwalin pulled out a folder and passed Thorin a few papers. As Thorin was gazing at the documents, his hands began shaking.

“That’s impossible...” Thorin gasped adding all the facts together. “I never knew she actually married him...” He gasped annoyed gazing at the marriage certificate.

“But you knew he was Kili’s father?” Dwalin noticed.

“I suspected it, but I was never sure...” Thorin noticed. “This whole thing is just so depressing...”

“That’s not the depressing part...” Dwalin noticed in a deep voice. He passed Thorin the second set of documents he needed to show him. Fili’s birth certificate, stirred Thorin even more, but the real shock was the document from the orphanage.

“Damn... this is just too much... To think... to think what a fucking coincidence... Kili and Fili... it’s just so fucking crazy... And to think Fili could have come to live with us instead of going to the orphanage... and that Dis chose not to pick him up...” Thorin had tears in his eyes.

“She did much worse... she never responded, suspending his adoption and placement in a foster family for a long time.” Dwalin added grimly.

“This is just too much...” Thorin cried and his friend could only lend him a shoulder. Dwalin wrote a quick text message to Bilbo to come over and he tried to ease Thorin a bit.

“What happened?” Bilbo gazed at the broken Thorin and shaken Dwalin.

“I have bad news.” Dwalin motioned Bilbo to sit down, and he passed the marriage certificate and Fili’s birth certificate.

“Fucking shit!” Bilbo cursed which was so not like him that even Thorin looked at him. “They are....” Bilbo gasped. “Fucking shit!” He cursed again.

“That’s not the worst part...” Thorin growled and passed the last document.

Bilbo had tears in his eyes realising what this document was and what it meant. “We could have raised them together... if we had known... if you had known...” Bilbo cried and embraced Thorin tightly.

“What’s done is done...” Thorin tried to calm down. “The question is what do we do now?”

“Honestly, I won’t blame you if you decide not to tell them...” Dwalin noticed slowly.

“How can we not tell them?” Bilbo was startled.

“Fili went through so much shit in his life... knowing your own parent rejected you... what Kili later did... If we separate them... Fili will...” Thorin noticed.

“This is like the biggest shit ever...” Dwalin gasped.

“I’ll talk to them.” Bilbo suddenly decided. “But I’m not even going to try to separate them. Screw it all. They can be together, only we know about it.”

“Bilbo?” Thorin’s voice was a bit lighter.

“What? They love each other...” Bilbo noticed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uff... I'm a little put off by the last comments, so sorry I just didn't have the heart to do a clean sweep of my typical typos. Because of that this story might be a little bit shorter than originally planned... Sorry :(

Kili was slightly surprised Bilbo called him saying he would drop by in the evening. He cooked some good food and both of them waiting impatiently.

“Hi Dad!” Kili hugged him. “Why the long face?” He noticed the strange way Bilbo was looking at him.

“We need to talk. The three of us. And it’s not going to be nice.” Bilbo noticed. “So before we start... you have to make a promise to me...”

“What kind of promise?” Kili noticed slowly.

“Promise that whatever you hear... you will not leave Fili alone later... And that you will not blame Thorin. He had no play in this and no knowledge about this.” Bilbo noticed.

“Bilbo what are you talking about?” Fili gasped.

“Promise!” Bilbo insisted.

“I promise!” Kili said with wide open eyes.

“Sit down...” Bilbo gasped. “I had a very difficult conversation today with Thorin and Dwalin.”

“What about?” Fili asked slowly.

“About you...” Bilbo gasped. “Balin asked Dwalin to look into some shit from the past... he was expecting to find shit... but he found a shit hole full of shit instead.”

“What kind of shit hole...” Kili gasped.

“The past is a funny thing... and sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie...” Bilbo gasped. “Fili do you know who your parents are?”

Fili just blinked at him. “I got all the documents when I became an adult. I remember my mom, but I don’t recall my dad. He’s just a meaningless name on paper.”

“Villi Oakenshield worked at Erebor... and he caused a lot of trouble and landed in jail.” Bilbo said on one breath. “He later committed suicide a few months after rejecting you.”

“Your adoption process was halted, because you still had family left...” Bilbo passed the document with the high lightened sentence.

“What has this got to do with anything?” Fili gazed at him seriously.

Bilbo without a word but with tears in his eyes passed them the marriage certificate.

“So what I don’t care who she was!” Fili gasped annoyed.

Kili gazed at the document and realisation was slowly kicking in. He blinked and prayed for that last name to disappear, but the fact was. Villi Oakenshield married Desire Durin.

“Uncle never wanted to talk about my father...” He whispered to Bilbo. “He just said he died before I was born...”

“Kili?” Fili noticed the distress on his lover’s face.

“No wonder our names rhyme...” Kili gasped.

“I’m sorry to say it boys... but it seems to be the truth.” Bilbo told them gently. “You are half brothers.”

“What?” Fili nearly fell down from the sofa. He gazed at Kili’s pale face and then to Bilbo. “If this is some kind of test or joke.... it’s really not amusing.” He growled.

“It’s not a joke.” Bilbo admitted with tears in his eyes.

“Like fuck it’s not!” Fili noticed with spite. “We just can’t be brothers... we can’t...” He did not feel the tears fall down his cheeks.

Kili was sitting there completely stunned and voiceless. “My brother?” His whole world shook in its foundation.

“Your half brother.” Bilbo confirmed in a sad voice.

“That’s just so fucked up...” Kili pulled his knees to his chest and began crying like the world had ended.

Fili had no idea what to make of his reaction. He wanted to hold him and embrace him, but there was something in Kili’s reaction that made him scared. Dead terrified. He felt his own heart pound with fear. He loved Kili beyond anything in his life, beyond his own life itself. He was ready to yell out that it didn’t matter, that they could just screw it all.

Bilbo walked up to Kili and embraced him tightly, and somehow Fili felt pushed aside. He felt out of place. In this flat that was not his, in the presence of a person who didn’t even look at him in the most difficult time in his life. As Kili was crying in Bilbo arms, Fili felt hollow and stunned. As if his life had ended.

“Fili?” Bilbo gazed up to him worried. “Give him a moment.” He told him gently. “Could you make us all some tea?”

Fili blinked through his tears and nodded. He walked to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

When he came back nothing had changed. Kili was still holding onto Bilbo and crying. And he could see the worry on Bilbo’s face.

“I’m not sure if I can leave you both alone here...” Bilbo suddenly noticed, extremely worried with their reaction. “Would you like to come to stay with us for a few days?” Bilbo proposed, and Kili eagerly nodded in his arms. But Fili felt pushed aside. Somehow he needed reassurance, he needed warmth and love, and he got nothing.

“I’ll call Ori.” Fili whispered and dialled his foster brother.

\-------

When Ori got the phone call he did not hesitate, he already knew what Dwalin found and he felt sorry for both Fili and Kili. Dwalin drove him to Kili’s flat, and when he saw the state Fili was in, he looked puzzled at Bilbo and Kili.

“I want to go home.” Fili whispered to him in between sobs.

“Come on...” Ori embraced him tightly and with Dwalin they guided him to the car, and later drove him home.

When Fili landed on the bed of his old room, Ori tucked him in and embraced him.

“Stay with him...” Dwalin encouraged with his low warm voice.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever...” Ori just smiled at him despite the sadness.

“He’s your brother and he needs you.” Dwalin nodded and went to their room thankful they hadn’t moved out yet.


	17. Chapter 17

Thorin drove by Fili’s old house the next day. He was deeply worried with what happened, and when Bilbo came home with a devastated Kili, Thorin’s heart ached at the pain Fili must feel being rejected again.

He gazed at the small, but clean and nicely kept house and rand the doorbell.

Dori opened. “Can I help you?” He asked in a deep firm voice.

“I’m here to see Fili.” Thorin noticed slowly surprised with the cold welcome.

“I hope you’re not planning to put him down even more...” Dori opened the door wider and let him in. “Follow me.”

When Thorin walked into the small room he saw Fili sleeping wrapped in covers, and Ori sitting on the bed reading a book.

“How is he coping?” He whispered to the youngest brother.

“Really badly.” Ori grimaced he guided Thorin out. As they sat down to some tea in the living room the three bothers and Dwalin gazed at him.

“So what the fuck happened?” Nori finally said.

Thorin gazed at them and hesitated for a minute, but Dwalin made the decision for him.

“They are brothers.” Dwalin finally revealed.

“What do you mean?” Dori’s eyes went narrow.

“They have the same father, that’s why the rhyming names.” Thorin admitted.

“Fucking shit!” Nori slammed the table. “How the fuck is that even possible?”

“Fili moved to America with his mother chasing after his father. Villi must have rejected them, because at that time he was involved with my sister. As it turned out later they secretly married. I suspected that he might have been Kili’s father, but when he died I just dropped the topic.” Thorin confessed.

“So basically your family rejected taking Fili in when his mom died?” Dori asked in a deadly voice.

“My sister.” Thorin lowered his head. “I never knew about him. If I had known... he would have been taken in.”

“So what now?” Nori hissed.

“I have no fucking idea... Kili is devastated.” Thorin noticed.

“And Fili is in no better condition.” Ori inhaled.

“This is all just so fucked up...” Nori rested his head in his arms.

“I’m going to support Fili in any way possible.” Thorin told them.

“What if they decide never to see each other again?” Dwalin slowly asked.

“Nothing will change my resolve.” Thorin told them. “I want him to keep the job, and he’ll have all my attention and help.”

“It’s best he stayed here with us, we’ll keep an eye on him.” Dori decided.

“And keep all the sharp things locked up...” Nori hissed.

“We have to send him to therapy.” Ori added.

“Certainly.” Thorin noticed. “His health insurance will cover it. I’ll make an appointment with an old friend of mine.”

“Do you want him to keep working at Erebor?’ Nori slowly gazed at him.

“Yes, work will keep his mind off the troubles.” Thorin nodded.

“Good, so I’ll drive him there on Monday and you’ll keep an eye on his during the day.” Dwalin decided.

“Are you two still moving out?” Dori suddenly asked gazing at Ori and Dwalin.

“We should stay here until everything sorts out.” Ori decided.

“I’m going to go sit with him a bit.” Thorin nodded at them and walked back to Fili’s room.

\-----

For Fili the days blended again. Thorin would come in everyday and spend at least an hour or two with him, how he found the time in his schedule Fili had no idea. But he was grateful. He was grateful to all of them, Nori, Ori and Dori, even Dwalin, they were all by his side. But he was in such pain, his whole existence was hollow. Dwalin would drive him to therapy three times a week, and he was on meds. He would have hated the meds, if in fact he had felt anything. They made him feel empty. Lifeless. Nothing made him happy or sad anymore, but when he asked his therapist Galadriel about it, she said it was necessary in this difficult time.

After a week at home, Dwalin would drive him to work at the office, and then we would spend even more time with Thorin. Dealing with documents, deals and offers. And time flew by. A steady rhythm, work five days a week, therapy three times a week and meds three times a day. It wasn’t really a life anymore. It was just existence.

Three months later Galadriel decided to reduce the dose of meds. And slowly Fili began feeling. At first sadness, the gaping hole in his heart hurting again. He had had a brother. He had had a lover. He had nothing anymore. His job was keeping him focused, Thorin was keeping an eye on him. Slowly he began feeling more. He had to learn how to laugh again, how to have fun. Nori would play with him on the Xbox, Ori would read fragments of his new books. Dori would ask him for help with the club accountancy.

Five months into the healing Nori encouraged him to come into the club yet again. At first Fili just roamed around, getting the feel of the place again. He missed it. He missed the crowd, the music. He missed the stage and dancing.

When Dori noticed his longing, he just pointed to the stage and smiled.

“Do you want to give it a go?” He suggested with a shy smile.

“I’m not sure I can anymore...” Fili noticed grudgingly.

“It’s in your soul.” Dori smiled.

So he found himself back where it all began. Gazing at the crowd from up high. Feeling the rhythm dictate his moves. Dori was right it was in his soul. And feeling the music he could forget. His heart blank and empty. No love and no longing in it anymore. No Kili. Just the music.

\------

When the breakdown came, Bilbo and Thorin had no idea what to do with Kili and how to help him. They knew his destructive tendencies so they got rid of all the alcohol in the house, even the wine Bilbo used for cooking. But with every passing day Kili was fading. He refused to eat anything, he would spend his days crying as if the world had ended.

After a very difficult discussion Bilbo made the decision to place Kili at Galadriel’s clinic and to give him totally to her care. Kili was admitted to the best private mental facility in the country, and Galadriel knowing both sides of the story, she decided to put him on the same meds as Fili.

Kili woke up one day without the pain, and he breathed in. It felt good not to feel, but he knew he should not forget about him. He would get up, take part in group therapy, later individual therapy. Galadriel would spend a lot of time with him, his family would visit him very often. But there was only one thing on his mind. Fili.

“Bilbo can I ask you one thing?” Kili asked him one time.

“Yes Kili?” Bilbo asked him gently.

“I was wondering... Could you bring me my blue jumper? The one with the hood and dinosaur foot prints?” Kili asked him. “And a few more t-shirts, specially the red one with the pirate ship?”

“Of course.” Bilbo nodded.

When Kili got the bag with clothes he immediately pulled out the t-shirt and jumper and put them on. He embraced himself tightly, and he finally felt safe knowing he was wearing Fili’s clothes.

Galadriel was very worried with Kili’s progress, he was rejecting reality. He was rejecting all the facts. He was closed like a clam. But his destructive tendencies were diminishing.

Finally after three months in a closed facility, she let them take him home, providing he comes to therapy every day.

\-----

“What the hell happened to you?” Tauriel hugged him when she came over for the weekend.

“I was in hospital.” Kili admitted.

“I know, Bilbo told me... We missed you so much! It was so unnerving that we couldn’t visit you not to get infected!” Tauriel whined.

“I’m sorry...” Kili whined.

“It’s not your fault! Most importantly you’re finally better!” She admitted relieved. “Too bad you’ll have to repeat the year in college, but this was really serious so...”

She spent the whole day with him, playing games, watching films and talking nonstop. Kili would just listen and feel safe with her.


	18. Chapter 18

Tauriel made coming over her weekend habit, sometimes someone from their gang would come along and spend time with him.

Kili was slowly feeling better. As his meds were slowly reduced, he had only one emotion left in his heart. Love. Deep love. He knew the past was full of pain, but he knew that the only thing that mattered to him in life was Fili. He was the other part of his soul, his air and his music. And as he was sobering from the meds, he realized all the bad and good things. At night he would dream of their nights together, full of happiness and love. He would dream of the horror of Fili’s suicide. He would dream of all the bad words he said, of all the things he should have done, of all the bad things between them. He never told Galadriel about it knowing the moment she would know his meds weren’t working she would raise the dose. He wanted to dream of Fili. He wanted to go through the bad things again, it was his redemption. To feel the pain again. He just had to think about him, he just had to relive it yet again to pay for his mistakes.

One day he woke up feeling something would happen. The last words from his dream were drilling in his head.

‘I have only two options in my life... either I love you... or I should just finish what I started that day...’

Kili wasn’t surprised to see a message from Tauriel that she would drop by in the afternoon. He put on Fili’s jumper and t-shirt, and roamed the house making lunch for his family.

After a few hours together they sat down and Kili glanced at her firmly.

“I want to talk with you.” Kili suddenly told her.

“About?” She gazed at him surprised.

“Do you know anything about him?” Kili asked in a low voice. He did not say the name, but he didn’t have to.

“Why do you ask after such a long time?” Tauriel gazed at him. “You two broke up over a year ago... not that it was a standard relationship.”

Kili felt a ping of pain. The things he should have done. He never told his friends about his second meeting with Fili and his suicide. He never told them anything about the mistakes he made and how badly he treated him. About what he did to him. Even when they moved in together, he didn’t have the chance to reintroduce him to his friends as his official boyfriend.

“I just keep wondering...” Kili noticed slowly.

“He stopped working at the club when you two broke up. He didn’t dance for a long time. We began going back there again three months ago or so, and we spend Friday or Saturday there now again. He actually showed up on stage a few times in the last weeks.” She added.

“When are you going there again?” Kili asked slowly.

She inhaled deeply and gazed at him questioningly. “Tonight. We were actually planning to go there tonight.”

“Can I come with you?” Kili asked her slowly.

“But you can’t drink because of your hepatitis!” She exclaimed.

“I’m going to dance, not to drink.” Kili told her sourly.

“Fine, you can come.” Tauriel pointed out. “But you have to hurry and get ready.”

“I’m ready.” Kili replied.

“You’re going to a club dressed like that?” Tauriel hissed taking in his jeans and huge jumper.

“Yes.” Kili replied in a cold voice.

\-----

Fili was dancing like always. He engaged into the rhythm and danced as if there was no tomorrow. His heart beating in the rhythm of the music. He barely looked at the crowd anymore, not really caring about their reaction. His whole existence was striving not to care about anything anymore.

When he opened his eyes, the stage was full of rose smelling smoke. And there in the middle of the crowd he saw one person not dancing. Dark gorgeous eyes were looking at him.

He looked different, much thinner and solemn. But what stunned him beyond measure, was his favourite jumper on him. Clothing not really appropriate for the club, but carrying so much meaning. He was just standing there looking at him. Ignoring the crowd and the music, and in a heartbeat Fili felt more than he had in months. Their eyes locked and Fili held his deep meaningful gaze. His mouth went dry, dreaming on the taste of his lips. His pulse sped up, and his breath became ragged. He realized he was just standing there stunned, so as the song changed he walked down into the crowd. He stopped right in front of him, standing just a foot away.

No words were said, they were just staring, both too entranced to make a move. Kili realised if he didn’t make a move, Fili wouldn’t. So feeling as if he was walking on thin ice he just wrapped one arm around his neck and began moving with the music. Just letting go to the rhythm. The moment he did that, those arms he loved so much went around him. They weren’t as strong as they used to be, but still as warm and gentle. When he felt the tender fingers gently brush against the jumper, he held their eyes locked. They were dancing, but not like they used to. It was a tight dance, not letting go for even a second. It was a tender dance full of holding and gentle embracing.

“I missed you.” Kili finally said needing much more. Needing to feel more and get more.

“I love you.” Fili replied conveying a similar message but with different words.

“I love you too.” Kili blushed and held on even tighter.

“I needed you so much...” Fili’s emotions took control.

“I failed you...” Kili looked down ashamed. “I failed you so many times... I did so much and I didn’t do what I should have... I’m so fucking sorry... I’m so sorry I’m so weak...”

Fili inhaled and rested his head on Kili’s shoulder. Tears were falling, and he had no idea how to deal with the wave of strong emotions as they brushed over him. The meds were still working, dulling it a bit, but he could feel all the pain back, all the longing and all the despair.

“We shouldn’t be together.” Fili told him in the strongest voice he could muster out of his tightened throat.

“We shouldn’t.” Kili agreed. “But I rarely have a habit of doing what I should.”

“I can’t live without you.” Kili told him after a longer moment of silence. “Nothing makes sense without you... The last months... were hell. A white, dull emotionless hell. And the only colour in my life were your two beautiful eyes staring back at me in my dreams. I just wish we could change it all. Erase all the bad, and only leave the good. The nights we spent, the love we shared. But I have no such power.”

Fili’s fingers drilled into his thin body. He held on so tightly as if fearing he would be gone in a flash and without a trace.

“You... hurt me.” Fili gasped. “You left me twice... you just put me aside and pushed me away.” Tears were falling.

“I don’t deserve any forgiveness... But I have no other choice but to beg for it.” Kili dully noticed. “It’s you or nothing. And when they told us... I just died.”

“I died too. But not because of what they said but because you didn’t want me next to you.” Fili grimaced with pain.

“I just... it’s too painful to be true.” Kili replied rejecting the idea. “It took me a long time to realise I don’t want it to be true.”

“Just because you don’t want it to be true, it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” Fili pointed out grimly.

“No, it’s basically the same thing. I don’t give a shit about what anyone may think. Just because you are... you’re more special because of it.” Kili brought forward all his thoughts. “You’re the only person in the whole world for me. The other part of my soul, my air and my blood. You may never forgive me, but I’ll always be looking your way. Just to make sure you’re fine... just to make sure you’re there... Even if you decide you don’t want me anymore... I’ll be there for you if you ever need me...” Kili’s tears were falling like crazy. “I hope... I have hope that with time the pain will be just a thing of the past. I hope that...”

“My hope died.” Fili confessed.

“Don’t worry I have enough for both of us...” Kili gently brought his lips closer in an agonizing slow pace giving him plenty of time to pull back.

Fili didn’t have the strength to pull back. Their lips gently brushed and conveyed more than words could.

“Come to my place...” Kili whispered. “Just to snuggle, just to talk ... please spend the rest of the night with me...”

“Kili we shouldn’t.” Fili’s voice was trembling as he spoke.

“Do you want it?” Kili asked desperately. “Tell me now that you don’t want to, and I’ll just walk out. Screw the whole world with their rules and false morality.”

“I want to... but I don’t want any more pain.” Fili made him realise.

“I don’t want to hurt you, and I’ll do everything possible not to hurt you again.” Kili assured him in a breaking voice. “I’ll spend what is left of my lifetime proving that.”

Fili didn’t say anything he just took his hand and together they reached the exit and got into the first taxi that came by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END


End file.
